How To Stop Being A Grumpy Mom (Even With Cranky Kids)

Do you become a grumpy mom when your kids are cranky? Try these 7 tips to help you keep the peace… and your sanity.

No more grumpy mom mode

No mom enjoys dealing with cranky kids. But eventually, every mom has to! And sometimes the real problem is – when they’re cranky, we get cranky.

But it does not have to be that way.

Even when your kids are whining, grumbling, and giving into all of THEIR big emotions, you don’t have to give in to yours.

You can stay peaceful and purposeful, instead of turning into a cranky and grumpy mom.

Let’s look at 7 tips I use regularly as a family therapist (and in my own home!) to help us get OUT OF grumpy mom mode.

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Why you become a grumpy mom

Let’s be honest here, mama. Emotions are TOUGH.

Whether it’s anxiety, anger, frustration, or sadness, emotions can overwhelm us even on our best days. And they can definitely overwhelm our sweet little kiddos.

There are a lot of factors that influence how you handle those big, hard emotions.

Are you stretched thin and overwhelmed?
Maybe your self care is lacking and your body is exhausted.
Do you feel close to the Lord and purposeful in the good work He has for you?

There are a lot of reasons why our emotions get out of control… but there are also things that you can do to manage those emotions well.

7 tips to help you stop being a grumpy mom (even with cranky kids)

Dealing with temper tantrums and whining toddler is never going to be fun. That’s not the goal here.

The goal is that you can keep the peace and stay calm YOURSELF… even when your kids are struggling to do that themselves.

Keep an eternal perspective.

As you face your kids’ hard emotions, it’s very normal to feel overwhelmed. It’s even normal to feel annoyed and frustrated.

But guess what? This is parenting. Emotions are a normal part of human life and family relationships.

Instead of focusing on the moment in front of you, focus on your true priority: honoring God with your life, loving your child, and raising them to be a thoughtful adult who loves Jesus and does good.

Pay attention to what's really going on.

I am a lot more likely to turn into a grumpy mom (quickly, too) if my kids’ emotions are interrupting me. I hate it, but it’s true.

When I’m focused on finishing the laundry or writing an email, I am much more likely to overreact to my kids’ interruptions.

BUT! If I am willing to pay attention to the sibling dynamics, pause early to handle any rising problems, and try to understand why this child is struggling, my emotions are much easier to manage.

Pay attention, and meet the deeper need of what’s really going on, not just the behavior that is annoying you.

Clarify your expectations of behavior VS emotions.

As a mom, you definitely should not accept and tolerate every behavior from your child. When they’re yelling, whining, grumbling, and fighting, that is not okay.

But that bad behavior does not justify you turning into grumpy mom mode… and it does not mean that your child’s underlying emotion is invalid.

It’s okay to comfort your child’s sadness or agree that they are angry about something unfair. This can free you up to still deal with the bad behavior, without getting lost in your own emotions.

Treat each child as an individual.

As you face your kids’ bad behavior and big emotions, it will help you to remember who this person is as an individual.

Respond to their behavior or their deeper emotional need in a way that works for them.

Some kids need a hug. Others might actually listen to a reasonable conversation. Try to respond to THIS child, in THIS moment. This can help you focus, stay calm, and feel productive.

Handle your own emotions.

You will never avoid turning into a grumpy mom if you are not able to control your emotions.

Sometimes, we want to brush those hard emotions under the rug. We want to pretend they don’t exist. But the Bible is full of big, hard, raw emotions. God can give you the strength you need to handle these emotions!

GET HELP with my Keep Your Cool, Mama! 40-day devotional for emotional control.

Whether it’s anxiety, anger, or hopelessness, dive into the Bible and seek God’s wisdom and help for managing hard emotions.

Focus on the positive.

Don’t pretend that your child’s cranky behavior is okay. But don’t forget that there are still a lot of positive, wonderful things about your child even when they are cranky!

Focus on their strengths and gifts. Remember the things that are going well. Think about these things, and speak them out loud to your child too! It will help you stay more peaceful and calm.

Exhort your children in the Lord.

Okay, okay. I know “exhort” is a funny word these days. But it’s just so perfect, I couldn’t help myself!

My friend, you are NOT ALONE in dealing with your child’s behavior. Ultimately, you don’t just want them to behave well – you want them to love and follow Jesus.

So when you’re struggling with their behavior, don’t try to do it alone.

In those hard moments, pray with your child. Share Scripture with them. Remind them of God’s truth. Help them to confess and apologize to God and to others. You might need to confess and apologize also. Turn with your child to God and build their faith in those hard moments.

GRAB A FREEBIE to build a daily habit of time in the Bible and in prayer.

Allow space for your own self care.

Mom life is busy and exhausting. There are many demands, and usually we are short on time.

But taking time and space for your own mental health is important and worthwhile!

It’s not selfish to take some time for your own hobbies, creativity, rest, and relaxation. Self care is different from mindlessly scrolling social media or binging TV shows.

Self care is intentionally taking time for things that make you smile and refresh your energy and your spirit. It will help you lower your stress and manage your mood with more flexibility.

GET YOUR 30-DAY CHALLENGE for building a healthy self care plan for yourself.

Listen Now:
How Romans 12 Helps Me Be A Better Christian Mom

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Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist but my podcast, blog, and resources are not professional or personal advice. I am an affiliate for many of the resources that I link to, and may earn a small commission if you purchase through my link. Read my full disclaimer here.

How To Stop Being A Grumpy Mom (Even With Cranky Kids)

No more grumpy mom mode

Why you become a grumpy mom