Your emotional self control is impacting your Christian family every day. Here’s how, plus tips for what to do about it.
How is your emotional self control?
Do you ever feel like your emotions are a bit out of control?
Most of us feel this way from time to time… or, let’s be honest, maybe every day. Family life takes a lot of energy. Things never go as planned. Relationships take work.
But your emotional self control actually has a BIG impact on all of that hard work!
Your marriage, motherhood, and every part of family life is impacted by how you are managing your emotions. From depression to burnout to loneliness, emotions impact you and everyone you care about.
Join me today for a look at how your emotional self control (or lack of it) is impacting your family, and some practical tips for what to do about it.
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Enjoying Christian family relationships
If you’re like every other mom in the world, your family relationships mean the world to you.
You want a happy marriage. You want to parent joyfully. And you want to find peace and purpose in the chaotic days of family life!
And you want to keep Jesus at the center of it all.
Well, my friend, there is a key to achieving all that you want for your family relationships.
Okay, okay. There are 4 keys. In my experience as a family counselor, pastor’s wife, and mom of 4, every Christian mom needs to walk through the following steps in order to truly ENJOY Christian family life.
- Build a strong foundation of faith.
- Learn to control her emotions.
- Practice good communication skills.
- Deepen important family relationships: marriage, parenting, and family life.
Sound easy enough? It takes real work! The world is busy, loud, and distracting. And our emotions get in the way of doing what we know is best.
That’s why we’re talking about your emotional self control today.
Does it really matter if you learn to manage your emotions? Is it possible to control them when when you’re stressed and tired from mom life?
Yes and yes. Let’s look at why.
How does your emotional self control impact family life?
One of the great things about family relationships is how interconnected everyone is. There is great intimacy and closeness in a healthy Christian family!
That also means that you have a big influence on each of your family members, and they have a big influence on you. And this certainly includes emotions.
Overall, there are 5 key ways that your own emotional self control will impact your family. This is why you want to be intentional about managing your emotions!
- Your emotions shape how you THINK. What do you think about? Are you so stressed that you cannot problem-solve or think about anything but “what if” problems?
- They shape how you ACT. What are you doing with your time? Are you productive, rushed, lazy, or stuck?
- Emotions also shape how you REACT. Do you have a quick temper or do you tend to be more patient? Your emotions influence that.
- Your emotions shape how you COMMUNICATE. Do you speak with kindness or do you yell? Will you speak up when there is conflict or shut down?
- Finally, emotions shape how you ENGAGE. You will be much more likely to enjoy intimacy or pursue quality time if your emotions are happy and calm.
What are some of the biggest emotional struggles that Christian moms face?
Over the next few weeks, we will tackle five of the most common emotions struggles that Christian moms face.
These emotions are not fun, but they are very normal. And they will impact your family relationships!
If you want to enjoy Christian family life, you need to learn how to manage these (and other) hard emotions. But don’t worry – that’s where this mini series will help! (Plus, I’ll offer a few ideas below.)
The 5 most common emotional struggles that we all deal with include:
- Depression and sadness
- Anxiety and worry
- Stress & burnout
3 key tips for building emotional self control
Yes, we will get into more details about each unique emotion as we go through this series. There are specific things that help anger but might not make a big difference for loneliness.
But overall, there are strategies for emotional control that always help.
These 3 skills are key for learning to manage your emotions all of the time.
1. Lean on God.
Ultimately, if you are struggling with your emotions, you need to spend time with God. You need the peace, joy, and self-control that only the Holy Spirit can give.
And the time to start leaning on God is not when your emotions spike.
Yes, that is a great time to all on God! Cry out to him, ask him for help, and trust that He is always faithful to response. (Because He is!)
But you will get much better emotional self control if you are leaning into your relationship with God all of the time. Prayer is a lifeline for a Christian mom, and you will be better prepared to handle the hard emotional moments if you are already feeling connected with God.
2. Make time for self care.
Only God can fill you with true and lasting joy, peace, and purpose. But God does care about how you treat your body, and He created you with limits and boundaries!
You need rest. Refreshment. Encouragement.
Sometimes, we think that self care is impossible because we just don’t have time. (If that’s you, grab my FREE 51 Self Care Ideas list to find some quick, easy ideas to get you started!)
But self care does not need to take a lot of time. It does not need to be expensive or fancy. It just needs to be a small moment where you intentionally do something that you enjoy and that refreshes you.
3. Practice pausing, deep breathing, and changing your thoughts.
Okay, this is a 3-step skill. But these 3 things go together, hopefully smoothly, and make a big difference!
This skill is very practical in the moment of a hard emotion. Before you react, PAUSE. That is the powerful change in how you manage emotions.
Just pause. Take a slow deep breath. And think about something different.
You might try counting to 10. Or maybe think of a gratitude list in your mind. Review your grocery list or take 10 seconds to daydream about your upcoming date night.
This 3-step process can happen quickly, but still make a big difference. Yes, it takes practice – but it is definitely worth it.
Listen to Episode #129
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Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist but my podcast, blog, and resources are not professional or personal advice. I am an affiliate for many of the resources that I link to, and may earn a small commission if you purchase through my link. Read my full disclaimer here.