These are the 7 Bible verses to control anger that I turn to first as a Christian counselor, pastor’s wife, and mom of 4 under 4.
Are you a Christian mom struggling to control anger?
You’re not alone!
So many moms struggle with emotions like anger, impatience, and frustration. Let’s be real: kids can be very frustrating to care for.
But if you can’t learn how to manage these hard emotions, it’s going to be incredibly hard to enjoy Christian family life. Instead of growing deeper and happier, your family relationships will grow more distant.
No one wants to be the angry mom.
Thankfully, God has a lot to say in the Bible about emotions like anger!
Your anger does not surprise him, and He is your best source of peace, wisdom, and joy.
So let’s open God’s Word together to find the best Bible verses to control anger.
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Turning to the Proverbs for some of the best Bible verses to control anger
Let’s dive into our conversation today with a look in the Proverbs, to see just how destructive our impatience and anger can be.
- Proverbs 29:22 “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.”
- Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
- Proverbs 15:18 “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a person who stirs up conflict, commits many sins, makes people angry, and builds up a quarrel! That sounds horrible.
And it is not the way for you to love your people well.
It would be impossible to truly enjoy family life with this type of household.
Instead, we want to be the moms with gentle answers and with patience that calms a quarrel.
These verses point us not only toward motivation to deal with our emotions well, but toward solutions.
Instead of a harsh word, give a gentle answer. (Take a deep breath, count to 10, and speak slowly… it will help!) Work on patience and conflict resolution, rather than heating things up.
More of the best Bible verses to control anger
One of the best ways to grow in your anger management (and even avoiding anger all together!) is to grow in intimacy with the Lord.
A great way to do this is to spend time reading the Bible and talking to God in prayer.
Of course, that sounds easy… and it definitely NOT always easy! So I hope that these verses below will be a jumping off point for you in the topic of managing anger, but I definitely do not want them to be the only time that you are reading the Bible.
If you’re feeling stuck in how to start a regular habit of spending time with God, make sure to grab a FREE copy of the Holy Habits 45-Day Bible and Prayer Guide.
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27)
We need to take our sin seriously.
Anger itself is not a sin. That is clear from this verse. The problem comes with what makes us angry, and what we do with that emotion.
If we’re honest with ourselves, we easily start to think of our impatience as normal, or our anger as justified.
Let me challenge you there, friend.
Impatience and anger might be normal, but that does not mean that we should sit around in the emotions. These emotions hurt our family relationships and they do not lead us toward a happy Christian family life!
These verses in Ephesians 4 always make me think of the story of Cain and Abel in Genesis 4. God saw that Cain was angry and downcast, so God warns him that “sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:7).
The emotion of anger makes us far more likely to give into sin. We yell, speak hurtful words, use the silent treatment, or treat people poorly.
Instead, Ephesians 4 tells us to resolve the emotion, resolve the conflict, and restore peace in the relationship.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 28-30)
We cannot handle our emotions well without Jesus.
While we may sometimes handle our emotions well, we will never control our impatience or anger because of our own effort. We need God’s help!
Anger and impatience are definitely wearisome and burdensome. They are exhausting. No one likes these emotions when they show up!
Jesus is our rest. “Rest for our souls” will absolutely include healthy emotional control.
When our emotions threaten to spiral out of control (which usually happens quickly!) we can cry to the Lord. He will hear our voice! He responds. As verses 1-5 tell us, He is our rock, fortress, and deliverer.
God saves us from (and in) our distress.
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2)
There is so much in these 2 verses that help us to understand and start controlling our anger!
We can focus on worshipping God with our bodies and our lives, and start to understand that how we respond to frustrations can glorify his Name.
And there is a huge focus here on how we can start to control our thought lives in order to manage anger. Learning how to stop negative thinking will help a LOT in managing anger!
The reality of life is that something is always shaping how you think, feel, and act. Your mind is being “renewed” every day by something.
Is it social media? The news? Another argument with your husband? Or is it God’s Word?
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19-20)
Like we already saw in Ephesians 4, this verse does not tell us that we should never feel angry.
But it really forces us to slow down and re-evaluate what makes us angry and how it influences us.
If we follow the process that James outlines here, it is far less like that we will struggle with anger or find it getting out of control when it does come up.
First, listen. Then, instead of speaking, listen more. Next, resist the urge to become angry… and listen more.
The more that we listen to others and try to understand their point of view, the less likely it is that we will struggle to control our anger.
- When you get angry or impatient… have you listened? Really listened?
- Have you thought carefully before speaking?
- Have you taken a pause, so you could cool down and avoid getting angry?
There is so much in this passage of Scripture – every verse can be highlighted as one of the best Bible verses to control anger! So let’s break it down piece by piece.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. (Philippians 4:4-5)
We start with a look at our choices. The more that you choose to rejoice in the Lord, the less angry you will be. You simply cannot rejoice AND feel angry at the same time.
Similarly, when you choose to be gentle with people and you are mindful of how close the Lord is to you, there is less opportunity for anger to rise up.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)
Yes, these verses specially talk about how to control anxiety. But trust me, in my 10+ years as a Christian counselor I know there is a HUGE overlap between anxiety and anger.
These same steps will help you manage your anger. And the same peace of God can guard your heart and mind.
So when the hard emotion starts to rise up, no matter what is going on, turn to prayer, petition, thanksgiving, and be willing to present your requests to God. You can trust that He will give you more peace.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)
The things you think about and the people you spend time with will directly influence your emotional control.
In fact, they will start by influencing what upsets you and how often that happens, as well as what you do about it!
What thoughts are filling your mind? When you get angry, what negative thinking starts to kick in? You need to replace it with positive thoughts!
Whom are you copying or imitating? Is it the world of social media or political news outlets… or the fellowship of believers and Christian mentors and friends?
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he [God] said to me [Paul], “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Sometimes, the struggle with anger can be so raw and painful that we start to despair. It can feel completely overwhelming.
But not only does God provide us with strategies for dealing with anger, He also makes his power perfect in our weaknesses.
The Apostle Paul experienced great hardship and pain. When he asked God to remove a specific thorn that made him struggle, God responded… not by taking it away.
Have you prayed for God to help you be less angry? Have you asked Him to make you more patient, more kind, and more loving?
He may not answer in the exact way that you’re hoping, but He will answer.
And his grace is sufficient for you.
In your impatience, frustration, anxiety, and anger… accept your weaknesses, that Christ’s power may rest on you.
Listen to Episode #47
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Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist but my podcast, blog, and resources are not professional or personal advice. I am an affiliate for many of the resources that I link to, and may earn a small commission if you purchase through my link. Read my full disclaimer here.