Christian family life can be exhausting, and these 6 real-life tips will help you hold onto a positive attitude even when you’re struggling.
Finding a positive attitude
Can you enjoy family life when your attitude is crummy?
Nope. Your attitude has everything to do with how your home feels, how you engage with your family, and how you handle frustrating moments of your day.
As Christian moms, we need to figure out how to hold onto a positive attitude even when things aren’t going the way we want. And we don’t want a rose-colored-glasses positive attitude, with a fake smile and bitterness in our hearts. No!
We need a genuine, biblical, healthy attitude as we go about the good and hard moments of Christian family life.
So today, we’re taking a look at 6 real-life tips to help you maintain a biblical perspective, a healthy mindset, and a positive attitude.
Let’s dive in.
Listen To Podcast #117
If today’s topic is meaningful to you, these resources will give some additional support as you seek to love your Christian family well:
- Grab the FREE Christian Journaling Prompts to help you think through what you want your home life to look like and what God desires for your Christian family.
- Building A Home of Godliness and Joy is a devotional workbook that will take you deeper into God’s Word to apply his wisdom to your everyday family life.
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If you’ve been following along, you know that we’re in a mini-series diving deep into Proverbs 14:1.
The wise woman builds her home, but the foolish woman tears it apart with her own hands. (Proverbs 14:1 NLT)
You’ve thought about your “why” for putting time and effort into family life. You have some wisdom in a godly perspective, numbering your days, putting God first.
So, how does that impact your attitude and your interactions in your home?
In my mind, this is where the foolish woman starts to unintentionally “tear down” her home!
Because here’s the thing:
Your attitude has a HUGE IMPACT on the atmosphere of your home! Is it a positive attitude... a positive impact?
Think about it. When you have a positive attitude, it shines through to those around you. And the same is true when you have a negative attitude.
- the words you use
- your tone of voice
- facial expressions
- how you respond to inconveniences
- how you handle moments of sacrifice and service
- do people feel welcomed, cared for, valued, and appreciated?
…Next week, we’ll tackle the other side… what to do when we (or others) fall short. When our attitude is grumbly and our interactions are tense or difficult. How do we apologize and forgive?
But for today, we’ll focus on the positive.
How do you keep a positive attitude on those hard and tiring days?
Tip #1: Keep a gratitude list. (Philippians 4:8)
Are you thinking about things that are positive? Or, as Philippians 4:8 describes it, things that are true, good, beautiful, and praise-worthy?
A gratitude list is a great way to refocus your mind onto things that you are thankful for. No matter how difficult of a day you’re having, there are many things you can add to your list!
Even on the hardest days, you certainly are thankful for your family. For the food on your table. The roof over your head.
Yes, there might be a lot to complain about… but if you read the Old Testament, that never worked out so well for God’s people! Why is that? Because He always gives us so much more to be thankful for.
And when you refocus your attention to notice the good instead of the bad, it goes a long way in strengthening a positive attitude in your mind and heart.
Tip #2... Rest in Jesus, not your work. (Matthew 11:28-30)
You do a lot, every day, as a mom. And not just little nothing things – you do important things! You are raising the next generation. You are sustaining their little bodies with nourishing food and encouraging their souls with kind words, helpful teaching, and constant love.
Sometimes, though, our role as a mom can start to define us.
And yet, it is not the ultimate identity in our lives. Our identity is in Christ! To hold onto a positive attitude, you have to keep him first, and find your rest in him – not in your kids’ thankfulness, decision making, or seeing what looks like “success” for your family.
So when you’re weary and burdened, turn to Jesus. Read these words from Matthew 11, and find your rest in him. Not just take-a-nap type of rest… soul rest. Deep, abiding, purposeful, don’t-forget-how-valuable-you-are rest.
Tip #3: Stop scrolling through social media. (Romans 12:2)
We know from Romans 12:2 that what we focus our mind on will shape who we are.
And there is perhaps nothing more “pattern of the world” in today’s culture than social media.
Yes, you can take time to reflect and consider how much time you’re spending on social media. You can look at your screen time statistics and set goals for how you use certain apps. In fact, you can even use social media to encourage others and share the gospel.
Or you can just stop.
Stop following the pattern of the world. Time on social media is linked with many negative mental health effects. And almost all of the time, it is taking time away from your family.
If you’re looking for a positive attitude (especially on a rough day!) you’ll find it much more likely if you spend a moment with God, instead of social media.
A positive attitude starts in your mind.
Have you started to notice a theme? So much of what influences our attitude is our thought life! Your thoughts have huge influence over your attitude and emotions.
Try this little example: I can tell you right now to feel angry.
No, really. Feel it. Make yourself feel angry for a moment.
You see, the only way you’ll be successful is if you think about something that makes you angry.
Thoughts are powerful. So use them to shift yourself back toward a positive attitude.
Tip #4: Take your thoughts captive to Christ. (1 Corinthians 10:5)
Noticing your negative thoughts is key to bringing yourself back to a positive attitude. If your thoughts are hopeless, grumbly, or judgmental, your heart will be also.
So, when your thoughts are taking you in a negative direction – change direction.
There are a lot of ways that you can take your thoughts captive to Christ in this situations.
(And if you’re a Patreon of the show, we have a Faith Fiver Club private podcast episode giving some specific tips on stopping and replacing these thoughts!)
But for now, keep it simple: focus on the tips we’ve already talked about! Refocus your attention onto things you’re thankful for. Put your phone down. Focus on Jesus with a prayer, opening the Bible, or meditating for a moment on a verse of Scripture.
The Holy Spirit delights to help you in these moments, so lean into his power! Change your thoughts toward a more healthy, holy, and happy direction.
Tip #5: Set little goals each day to put them first. (Philippians 2)
We all know that Christians should put others first, love others sacrificially, and be humble people. But all moms know that sometimes, giving and giving and giving just takes it all out of us!
So have fun with this tip. Try to make your loved ones’ day delightful, not because it’s your job but because you love them.
How many times today can you make your child smile? Or maybe, how many times today can you wink at your husband to get things spiced up? Create quick moments of connection and quality time. Make it a game, and try to outdo yourself the next day!
You have so many chances each day to make your family smile. And when they smile, you are more likely to smile to. After all, and you want your family to enjoy life together.
Let their happiness bring you back to a positive attitude! Try this fun little tip, make a game of it, and do little things every day just to make them smile.
Tip #6: Sing worship songs. (Colossians 3:16)
Fill your day with music! Especially music that lifts up the Lord.
This is a great way to bring about a positive attitude, especially on a difficult day. Music has a powerful influence on emotions.
Of course, this verse in Colossians goes beyond singing worship songs. It also highlights the power of talking about the Bible, sharing gospel encouragements, and letting the message of Christ dwell among you.
And if anything can change your attitude, it’s the message of Christ!
Turn on the music. Maybe you have a dance party with the kids, a slow dance with your husband, or some lovely background music while you get some chores done. It’s all a win.
Talk about the Bible. Share with your husband what the Holy Spirit is teaching you. Remind your kids of important Bible stories and lessons.
As you talk about the Bible, share gospel encouragement with your kids or husband, and let the message of Christ dwell among you, you’ll find your attitude changing.
Find Encouragement In 3 Biblical Examples Of Jesus Keeping A Positive Attitude In Really Difficult Situations
The Friday Faith Follow-up on the Love Your People Well Podcast
To get a little extra perspective, let’s open our Bibles and look at 3 examples from the life of Jesus. Times when he faced difficult, painful, emotional situations… and dealt with it in a positive and godly way.
As we try to become more and more Christ-like, looking at his example helps us get ideas for how to handle the realities of our lives in more God-honoring ways.
And if you want to deepen your own relationship with Christ, grab the Finding Your Identity In Christ devotional workbook.
Join me for a quick gospel encouragement in this follow-up podcast episode.
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Hugs & blessings to you, my friend! I’ll talk to you soon.
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Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist but my podcast, blog, and resources are not professional or personal advice. I am an affiliate for many of the resources that I link to, and may earn a small commission if you purchase through my link. Read my full disclaimer here.