Find encouragement with 5 ways to manage emotions and stop depression from impacting your family, from a Christian counselor.
Depression has an impact
Sadness and depression are a reality for SO MANY Christian moms. And these hard emotions can make it really difficult to enjoy family life.
As a mental health counselor, I’ve spent over a decade helping women become more emotionally healthy. And it is always amazing to see the positive impact this has on their family!
Today, we’ll find out what sadness and depression look like for regular Christian moms, how they’re impacting your family, and we’ll point to some action steps you can take to limit the impact of depression on your loved ones.
Ready? Let’s jump in.
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What Sadness And Depression Look Like
Whether you go to counseling or not, sadness can feel really overwhelming. (And if you are ever thinking of harming yourself, visit 988lifeline.org or call 9-8-8 in the USA for emergency support.)
Sometimes, we get so busy that problems in our own mental health or emotional wellness can sneak up on us.
So here are some “red flags” that you might notice, that tell you that your sadness is becoming a problem – and is probably starting to impact the people you love.
- Feeling sad more and more often
- Losing interest in things you used to care about
- Physical exhaustion or lack of energy (more than normal mom life)
- Negative thoughts, perhaps even including thoughts like “everyone would be better off if I wasn’t even here.”
- Feeling worthless or hopeless
- Anger outbursts toward yourself or others
- Anxiety, especially if it doesn’t make sense in the current situation
- Trouble sleeping (falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping too much)
- Having trouble concentrating and focusing
Why Do Christian Moms Struggle with Sadness?
There are 4 big reasons that have a big influence on how we feel – and especially, why we might struggle with sadness or depression.
First, there is the reality of brokenness in our world. Sometimes, people have chemical imbalances or hormone problems that may impact how they feel.
Next, we can recognize that we live in a culture that surrounds us with lies and cruelty. Satan whispers “you aren’t enough” while social media constantly tells us “you should be happier.” These are not uplifting – or true!
Moms also may struggle with depression because of relationship struggles. Every family, has its ups and downs, and relationships always impact our hearts.
A final area to consider is what your spiritual habits look like. Are you reading God’s Word? Praying? Faithful at church? Jesus is our peace, and we need his strength.
RELATED: 10 Reasons Why Moms Struggle With Out Of Control Emotions
How Your Sadness Or Depression May Be Impacting Your Family
If you are a little concerned with your emotions or your mental health, you can be sure that your loved ones are also noticing some concerns.
That’s because our emotions always impact how we interact with other people.
And that’s what we are here to stop! It may take time to find healing from depression. (Although these 4 biblical tips will make a big difference.)
But you can start limiting the impact of your depression today. Here’s how.
> You may start to struggle with everyday tasks that your family relies on.
Moms have a lot of responsibilities! And when you are struggling emotionally, the normal things of life can start to feel really heavy and overwhelming. Your family may notice that chores are falling behind or that you’re forgetting items on the family calendar.
You can try this to help:
- Start writing out your daily priorities and plans. This can help you keep things realistic, check things off (which feels good), and ask for help where you need it.
> Your attitude might change, with a shorter temper and quicker frustration.
When emotions are high, our reactions also tend to be more intense. We are more likely to overreact, more easily frustrated, and we are likely to start responding to our family differently.
You can try this to help:
- Pray regularly and ask for the Holy Spirit’s help with patience, gentleness, and kindness.
- When you lose your temper, apologize quickly.
- Try to reduce stress wherever you can, to give more emotional wiggle room for regular life.
DIVE INTO SCRIPTURE with my 40-day devotional on emotional control.
> Your libido may drop and your marriage may struggle.
Marriage is always impacted by depression. When you’re regularly feeling sad, it’s likely that you will give less attention to your husband. This will probably be true emotionally as well as physically. Intimacy often starts to struggle.
You can try this to help:
- Talk to your husband about what you’re feeling (without blaming him.)
- Don’t wait until you “feel like it” to go on dates, have a conversation, or be intimate.
- Try to stay engaged emotionally. Ask question, listen, and make eye contact.
FIND HELP NOW with my recommended online courses for Christian marriage intimacy.
> Your positive attention to your children may slip.
Even if you don’t talk to your kids about your emotional struggles, they will feel it in the atmosphere of your home. Many kids feel confused, guilty, angry, or ignored when their mom is struggling with depression.
You can try this to help:
- Plan out things like special activities, asking about their school day, or even giving compliments or praising them.
- Don’t rely on your emotions to lead you to engage; make plans and then follow them.
- Stay age-appropriate in what you talk about with your kids.
READ NEXT: 12 Easy Ways To Give More Positive Attention To Your Family
> You may have less energy and stop caring about things you normally enjoy.
This can happen for your personal life – hobbies, self care, spiritual habits. But it can also happen with your family relationships. Do you have energy for a family trip to the zoo? Are you consistent with taking your kids to church?
You can try this to help:
- Do the things you used to do, while you’re working on getting emotionally healthy and whole again.
- Ask for help where you need it.
- Pursue help for your emotional struggles. This might be with a counselor, with a pastor, with a friend, or finding a great book.
Yes, you can limit the impact of depression on your family!
I’ve been a counselor for over 10 years, and I’ve helped countless women work through hard emotions. It’s always a great blessing to see joy and peace return – but most especially, to see the impact that emotional healing has on our families!
For most people in counseling, their families actually notice healing and improvement before they do. That’s for these very reasons – as you start feeling better, they’ll notice your energy, attitude, mood, and attention improving too.
Depression is a very hard experience – but it does not last forever, and does not have to have long-lasting impact on your family.
Change is possible. God is faithful. Healing can come.
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Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist but my podcast, blog, and resources are not professional or personal advice. I am an affiliate for many of the resources that I link to, and may earn a small commission if you purchase through my link. Read my full disclaimer here.