Trying to enjoy a romantic married date night? Steal these great tips from a Christian marriage counselor!
Why bother with a married date night?
Intimacy is usually not a problem while we’re dating and in the newlywed stage.
But then kids come along, we get busy, the bills pile up… what about date nights??!
Having a date night after you’re married won’t save your marriage. But it can make a big difference!
So I want to share some practical ideas today, from my 10+ years as a Christian marriage counselor! – about how to have more fun and more marriage intimacy on fabulous dates nights with your man.
[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.]
Everyone needs a good date night once in awhile!
Let’s get into the good stuff today, friend! Marriage. Intimacy. Date night. Steamy kisses.
It’s time for a good old-fashioned married date night.
Yes, sometime we think that date night is most important when we’re dating. It helps us decide on the HUGE question of should we marry this guy or not.
But date nights are still important after we get married.
READ NEXT: 9 Hot Tips To Make Sure Your Marriage Has Amazing Intimacy In The Bedroom
Why does it matter if you still have married date nights?
There are a lot of reasons why married date nights matter.
- You get a chance to talk about important things, without the distraction of kids and chores.
- There can be peace, quiet, and connection.
- It’s a natural time for some marriage intimacy.
Start by getting barriers out of the way.
First, you need to deal with the junk that is getting in the way of having a married date night! And let’s be honest – there can be a lot of stuff getting in the way.
Here are a few of the most common marriage problems that get in the way of having more date nights (or enjoying them while you’re out).
1. Conflict
When you’re fighting, you don’t want to deal with date night. No one is feeling romantic! So work through those issues and decide to have fun together anyway.
2. Busy & Stressed
Sometimes, we feel too stressed and busy to make time for date night. So put plans in motion! Schedule it. Pay for tickets to the concert or pre-pay the babysitter, so you’re more likely to follow through.
3. Finances
Never put off date night because of finances! There are plenty of FREE, fun options you can try. I’ve got more ideas below 🙂
4. Feeling disconnected
A date night can really help you reconnect, but sometimes that feeling gets in the way of making the effort. So make it an experiment: plan 3 date nights this month and see if you feel more connected. And work on communicating more often and see how you feel!
WANT MORE HELP? Grab my devotional Communicating To Connect to boost marriage communication.
5. Lack of romance
We can get frustrated when our husband isn’t being romantic… so try adding a little romance yourself! Plan a date night yourself.
And if you just aren’t that excited about being intimate with your husband, make sure to check out the online courses from the “Christian sex lady” Sheila Wray Gregoire. It costs less than a date night anyway and you’ll love intimacy more than ever!
6. It's too much work
I get it. You’re TIRED. Of course you are! Actually, research shows that the most unhappy season of marriage is when couples have kids in the home under age 5.
(I’ve got 4 of my own, ages 4 and under. Eek.)
So plan a SIMPLE date night! You don’t need fancy dinner reservations to connect with your husband. You just need time, intention, and some space.
Once things are planned, you need to get in the mood!
Most of the time, we have as much fun on a date as we allow ourselves to have. So get your head in the game NOW for a steamy date night later!
7. Decide now to be intimate later
Even after a wonderful date, we get home and kick off our shoes and… we’re tired. Sex might feel like the last thing you want to bother with. So decide ahead of time! Knowing what’s coming will let you daydream, plan, and get excited about it.
8. Daydream
The morning of your date night (or even before!) take time to daydream about it and get ready. Shave your legs. Pick your outfit. Get excited!
READ NEXT: 9 Hot Tips To Make Sure Your Christian Marriage Intimacy Is Amazing In The Bedroom
9. Flirt
Get him excited about the date too! Letting him know that you’re looking forward to things – wink wink – will get him ready to focus on you and your date. Especially for a married date night, don’t forget to flirt and have fun along the way.
READ NEXT: How To Talk About Your Sex Life With Your Husband… The Good, The Bad, And The Awkward
10. Do what makes YOU feel beautiful
Instead of focusing on the 10 pounds you still want to lose, focus on what makes you feel sexy and beautiful. Shave your legs, pick out your favorite outfit, and wear some fun make-up… all day!
11. Wear lingerie all day
Okay, okay, It doesn’t have to be lingerie – but wear something sexy during the day. Even if it’s a little uncomfortable, it will remind you all day long of the fun you’re going to have that evening on your married date night.
12. Create a secret phrase
Start the ultimate inside joke with a steamy “sex phrase” that only you and your husband know. You can talk about intimacy all day long, even in polite company, and enjoy a special secret together.
Next up, you need some good date night ideas.
Whether you’re prioritizing free outings, easy activities, or super-romantic dates, there are a ton of great ideas for your married date night.
Just pick up and get going!
13. Sip wine on the back porch.
Stay home, just change up the space. Hide the dirty clothes, dim the lights, turn on some Barry White. Sit on the back porch instead of your usual evening on the couch.
14. Snuggle
Do you want this to be a steamy married date night? You’ll need to touch each other! It can be as simple as snuggling on the couch.
READ NEXT: Let’s have more FUN in marriage intimacy, Christian wives!
15. Play strip “poker” (or another game)
This is easy, free, and totally appropriate when you’re married! Maybe you choose a board game or maybe you watch a documentary and take off a sock every time the director does a close-up… and so on.
16. At-home picnic
Light candles, lay out a blanket, and eat strawberries and whipped cream on the floor for an at-home picnic.
17. Love notes
Write each other steamy love letters and then read them out loud to each other. (You may want to already be behind bedroom doors.)
18. Try something new
This might be a sexy item of clothing, a new restaurant in town, or an activity you’ve never done before. Experiencing something new together creates a special bond and fun memories.
19. Try something exciting
Plan an activity that is exhilarating! Go bungee jumping, axe throwing, attend a football game for his favorite team – anything loud or exciting that gets your adrenaline pumping.
20. Pick something he will enjoy
Since the goal is really about intimacy, not the activity itself, pick an activity that he will enjoy. And often, an activity helps men connect more than sitting down and staring into each other’s eyes… especially once you’re married.
READ NEXT: The 5 Love Languages, Creativity, And A Reality Check For A Busy Christian Mom: Let’s Figure Out The Best Ways To Love YOUR People Well
21. Re-create one of your earliest dates
Pick an activity from your early years, and do it again! You could even pull out the photo album and try to re-create the exact scene. Have fun with it.
Uh oh! Get things back on track if they're falling apart.
Not every married date night will be spectacular. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get things back on track!
If you find that the activity is boring, your conversation is stuck in a rut, or you just aren’t feeling connected, try these tips.
22. Take a private pause
Excuse yourself to the bathroom and take a moment get your mind back on straight. Remind yourself of the positive and encourage yourself. Pray. Touch up your lipstick. Maybe take off your bra and see if he notices. Then get back in there.
23. Be spontaneous
If you’re needing a change, make a change! Quit plan A and move on to a new idea, activity, conversation, or place. Get creative, silly, or sexy to change up the atmosphere.
24. Increase physical touch
Change things up by adding more physically intimate touching. Rub his back, hold his hand, trail your finger along his arm. Especially if you tell him that you’re doing this on purpose, the mood will change!
25. Compliment him
Everyone has a good time when they’re hearing compliments. So if the date is starting to feel like a dud, start telling your husband things you love about him. What do you find attractive? How is he wonderful?
End your married date night on the right foot
Do you want more date nights?
Yes, I know you’re tired at the end of a busy and long day. Even when you had a lot of fun on your date, and maybe things really did get steamy and intimate, but then the date is over. Right?
Wrong. This date is over, but how you end things will have a big impact on your next date night. End strong! Here are a few ideas.
26. Have sex
It’s a classic for a reason – and when you’re married, sometimes this has to be a decision and not just wait for a feeling.
READ NEXT: 9 Hot Tips To Make Sure Your Marriage Has Amazing Intimacy In The Bedroom
27. Talk about what you enjoyed
During the date, comment on things you are enjoying. After the date, talk about what you liked most. Give compliments and create a positive impression from the date. Don’t fake it, but do focus on the positive.
28. Keep the positivity going
Want more married date nights? Make him feel like a rock star at this whole thing. Talk at breakfast the next day about what you enjoyed. Let him hear you telling the kids or your girlfriends about a funny things he said, a sweet moment of your date, or something wonderful.
READ NEXT: The Best Exercises To Stop Negative Thinking In Its Tracks
29. Make it as easy as possible for him to plan the next married date night
Whatever you’re hoping for in the future, start planning it now. Let him know a list of ideas you have for future date nights. Continue to flirt, send kiss-emojis, and mention things you look forward to on your next date night. Put it on the calendar with a big red circle. Help him be successful!
Listen to Episode #178
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Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist but my podcast, blog, and resources are not professional or personal advice. I am an affiliate for many of the resources that I link to, and may earn a small commission if you purchase through my link. Read my full disclaimer here.
