What are we talking about today?
We’re building up our marriages this week, my friends. So get ready for some fun application that you’re sure to enjoy!
One of the most common issues that comes up in marriage counseling (yes, even for Christian couples) is the issue of physical intimacy. That’s why today, we’re talking about your sex life, and some fun, practical tips to spice things up.
If you didn’t already know, I’m a Christian marriage & family therapist. I love helping couples deepen their bond and work through struggles and problems in their marriage. It’s an amazing thing to watch God bring healing, growth, and change!
But even couples who don’t have “problems” in their sex life need to be intentional about it. It’s an important part of marriage, and I want to share some of my favorite tips for enjoying this intimate part of your relationship.
I know you’ll enjoy putting a few of these ideas into action. Don’t worry, everything is G-rated and these are tips I’ve seen work for so many couples. I know you’re a busy Christian mama, but we can’t forget to also invest in the intimacy in our marriages.
Ready? Let’s dive in.
Listen to Episode 64:
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Snag your resources here!
If today’s topic is meaningful to you, you’ll also want to check out these earlier podcast episodes that connect with this same topic:
- Episode 12 // 6 Creative Ideas For Devotional Time With Your Husband to grow spiritual intimacy in your marriage
- Episode 30 // Deepen your marriage in 5 minutes a day with this simple and fun activity … which is also foundational to a healthy relationship and happy marriage!
- Episode 46 // 12 tips to spice up your marriage… building intimacy OUTSIDE of the bedroom.
Helpful tools to strengthen your marriage
Communication is one of the biggest struggles in marriage. Even for healthy and happy Christian couples, we can get off track in our communication! I’d recommend checking out our 40 Day Devotional on Communication in Marriage. Let the Bible bring wisdom, ideas, and encouragement to boost your marital communication.
- If it’s specifically conflict that you’re struggling with, make sure to grab our FREE 10-Point Conflict Resolution Checklist!
If physical intimacy is a sore spot in your marriage, or simply not something that you really enjoy all that much, don’t stay in that place. God wants you to enjoy the intimacy of your marriage! Check out my recommended courses from the “Christian sex lady” Sheila Wray Gregoire. She’s funny, vulnerable, and all about a healthy, holy sex life.
[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.]
Today's Episode Highlights
One of the three most common issues that I address with couples in marriage counseling is improving their intimacy. Yes, there are many types of intimacy, and we typically work on multiple areas – emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and more.
But we can never leave out the importance of physical intimacy.
So, that’s what we’re taking a look at today! If you want some ideas for strengthening other types of intimacy in your marriage, check out Episode 23 “Why we all need intimacy in our family relationships – and how to get there!”
9 tips for enjoying physical intimacy in your Christ-centered marriage
- Schedule sex. Put it in the calendar. Do it before the dishes are clean if you need to fit it in before you’re too tired. Not only does this ensure sex happens, but the planning and expectation can become a part of foreplay.
- Spend money on something fun and different (lingerie, hotel room, etc). It doesn’t need to be a ton of money, but it is a worthwhile investment to try something new and spice things up.
- Get your head on straight . What messages are you telling yourself about sex, romance, him, or your body? Are those messages that get you in the mood to be intimacy… or that discourage you and make you want to hide your body from your husband?
- Touch each other during the day and think about each other during the day. Daydream about the man God wants you to enjoy! (You may also enjoy Episode 46 “12 tips to spice up your marriage… building intimacy OUTSIDE of the bedroom.“)
- Have a secret sex phrase that you can say innocently in a conversation but you both know what it means. This might be something like “oh yeah, honey, we need to buy some light bulbs.” You both know it’s code for “you’re sexy” or “I want to make love to you” … but no one else does.
- Include visual fun in your marriage’s intimate moments. This might include mirrors, lingerie, tying back your hair so your husband can see your face better, have a “mood lighting” in your bedroom, or other such visual cues. Men and women both benefit from visual stimulation.
- Don’t have a tv in your bedroom. Even better – protect your bedroom space and atmosphere from the power of technology. If you need to do some work in your bedroom, have clear boundaries. Keep this as a space for two people connecting, not mindless binging of technology. (Bonus tip: Don’t argue in the bedroom! Go to the bathroom, the kitchen, or the car… but keep the bedroom space fun and relaxing.)
- Have ground rules for your intimacy. Everyone must be comfortable with everything. Even if you try some of the other ideas on this list, make sure that both you and your husband are comfortable with trying them, and have a “stop word” prepared just in case someone changes their mind.
- Talk about your sex life on a regular basis. Use the words! Sure, this could be a sexy conversation, but it sometimes might need to simply be a “life check-in” conversation, just like you check in about the budget, household chores, and parenting decisions. Talk about what you like, love, and want to change. (If you’d like to improve your marital communication overall, make sure to grab our 40 Day Devotional on Communication in Marriage.)
Friday Faith Follow-up
The topic of physical intimacy in our marriages is hopefully a fun one! But it is certainly an important one. Not only is intimacy a central part of how a husband and wife enjoy marriage, it is important to the God who created marriage in the first place.
In this short bonus episode on the podcast, I’m looking at 5 reasons why God cares about the purity and enjoyment of your marriage’s physical intimacy. Be encouraged and lifted up in your faith today as we consider God’s plan for our marriages.
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A reminder of the Disclaimers & Disclosures Policy: I am an affiliate with many of the resources I recommend, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through my provided links. I never recommend products I don’t love! Also, I am a licensed therapist but this podcast is not therapy. It is not professional or personal advice to your specific situation. Get info about professional counseling here.
