Try these 5 communication strategies to navigate parenting conflict, so you can be a strong parenting team even when you disagree.
Have you ever experienced parenting conflict?
Every mom and dad runs into this problem eventually. You might share many goals and plans in your parenting… but sometimes, you’ll totally disagree on the parenting moment right in front of you!
When you’re on totally different pages about how to handle a situation with your kids… is it even possible to stay on the same page?
Can you be a parenting team even if you disagree?
Even when you disagree, you want to stay on the same team. It’s KEY to still feeling connected as a couple and enjoying family life together.
That’s why I’m here to share 5 communication strategies to help you navigate through parenting conflict.
It’s definitely possible to be a strong parenting team, even when you disagree. And these strategies will help.
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5 communication strategies for handling parenting conflict
In my ideal world, my husband and I agree on everything. Ahhhh. No disagreements. Zero conflict. We’re always on the same page.
Except, we aren’t clones of each other, and we can’t read the other person’s mind… so sometimes, there is parenting conflict!
Every couple has unspoken ground rules that guide their conversations. But if you’re struggling with parenting conflict, it might help to make those ground rules more clear.
Wondering what some helpful ground rules might include?
No name calling – ever.
Don’t argue in front of the kids.
Bite your tongue instead of criticizing the other person (or their ideas) in front of the kids.
Unless 100% necessary, avoid stealing control from the other person and changing the plan after they’ve told it to the kids.
3. Speak positively about your husband in front of the kids... always.
There will be INCREDIBLE blessings to your Christian family relationships if you use this communication strategy!
It’s straightforward, but not always easy: Anything negative about your husband stays away from your kids.
Make him the rock star they already think he is.
Does this mean that you’ll always have to pretend you agree with him? That you’re always the “bad guy” while he gives the kids ice cream every night?
No. What it means is that you compliment him (and his ideas) in front of the kids, point out his great qualities, and bite your tongue on the rest. Save it for a private conversation.
(Don’t worry, tips are below for having that conversation with him!)
How to have the hard conversation about parenting conflict
Okay, this isn’t the fun part. But to be a strong parenting team, this is absolutely necessary.
Sometimes, you just need to have the hard conversations.
The 5 tips above will help you stay strong as a team. But there will be times when you realize in the heat of the moment that you disagree with your husband… and then you need to have a conversation with him about it.
To have that conversation in the best possible way, try these steps:
Wait until you’re calm and in private.
Don’t spring it on him, give him a “heads up.”
Share your point of view: what happened, why you disagree, and what you think instead.
Watch your words and your tone… don’t be rude.
Let him share his point of view and why that is important to him.
From there, the conversation can move forward. You’ve both stayed calm, said your piece, and heard the other person. That is a parenting TEAM conversation!
These communication strategies will help, but they are not a magic wand. Communication isn’t always easy! So keep working on it, pray about it, and show each other grace.
Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist but my podcast, blog, and resources are not professional or personal advice. I am an affiliate for many of the resources that I link to, and may earn a small commission if you purchase through my link. Read my full disclaimer here.
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