What are we talking about today?
Do you ever feel like all you do as a mom is give… and give… and give?
You probably feel that way because it’s true! Mom life is all about sacrifice. And if we don’t have the right perspective about it, we can find ourselves grumbling about it and feeling discouraged or disappointed… instead of finding the JOY that God intends in our sacrifices.
So let’s talk about it, mama.
In today’s episode, we’re laying bare the true struggles of Christian motherhood and the daily sacrifices that it requires. It’s hard, but it can be (and should be) joyful for us.
We’ve got encouragement as well as practical tips for how to find more joy in the daily sacrifices of mom life – no more mom anger, mom guilt, grumbling, or discouragement.
Let’s dive in.
Listen to Episode 69:
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Snag your resources here!
If today’s topic is meaningful to you, you’ll also want to check out these earlier podcast episodes that connect with this same topic:
- Episode 31 // Keep your cool, mama! Here’s my quick 4-step process for handling frustration and impatience with my kids… no yelling, door slamming, or anger management necessary.
- Episode 47 // Keep your cool, mama! Here’s my quick 4-step process for handling frustration and impatience with my kids… no yelling, door slamming, or anger management necessary.
- Episode 38 // One simple strategy that will reduce your kids’ temper tantrums and help them (and you!) manage emotions better and develop good coping skills: less anger, less yelling, and MORE bonding
- Episode 50 // Marriage & Motherhood… why it’s so hard, why it matters so much, and my #1 tip for doing it all well.
Let me also offer a FREE resource that I know will be helpful:
You want great relationships with your family. But sometimes, in the busyness of life and the struggle of daily relationships, we get stuck in a rut with our favorite people. If you want to get out of the rut and RECONNECT with your family, try my free 5-day email course: 5 Tools Every Busy Mom Needs to Move Her Family From Autopilot to Intimacy.
[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.]
Today's Episode Highlights
You want to enjoy your kids. You want to love family life! But it is hard work, it can be exhausting, and sometimes we get stuck in a season of discouragement.
These tips and biblical encouragement will help you move past mom anger, through the mom guilt, and into a place of finding JOY in the sacrifices of motherhood.
Why is “daily sacrifice” the reality of a Christian mom?
Sacrifice is a natural part of motherhood. Sure, we expect it in the infant years. Labor and delivery is well-known to be painful! Then we sacrifice our comfort and our sleep to get up at all hours of the night caring for our sweet newborn. (Which might not always feel so sweet.)
But the sacrifices continue. Day after day, we lay down our preferences, our comforts, and our in-the-moment desires for our kids. And it can be exhausting!
Especially as Christian moms, we will experience sacrifice on behalf of our kids. That is simply a part of the Christian walk – laying down our lives for our friends.
Throughout his life, Jesus sacrificed for us. And He did it for the joy set before him (Hebrews 12). We want to do the same in our motherhood! We want to sacrifice with JOY.
Why would I ever say our sacrifices can (and should) bring us joy?
There are 5 helpful truths to remind yourself of, when you are feeling particularly burnt out in motherhood and life.
- Your sacrifices for your kids please God. Of course, He does not want you to cater to your child’s every whim! But He is glorified and pleased when you lay down your preferences for the good of someone else.
- You bless your kids with your sacrifice. Our children literally would not survive infancy with out the sacrifices moms make! Throughout their lives, your kids are blessed by the energy, love, time, and care that you give them.
- Sacrifice can bring fulfillment as you recognize you are fulfilling your role and responsibility as a mom. There is something very satisfying about knowing we have a duty to perform, and feeling confident that we are doing our best to handle it well. Especially when it is as meaningful and important as motherhood!
- The relationship with your kids will deepen and grow as you sacrifice for them. No, you can’t guarantee that you’ll have a close friendship when they are adults. But your investments today (your sacrifices!) are building that bond. There is long-term impact.
- Anything worth having is worth sacrificing for. You love your children. You care deeply about their good, their happiness, and their future. Like everything in life, we sacrifice for the things that we value – and the sacrifice shows them that they matter.
6 action steps to help you find joy... instead of mom anger or mom guilt!
First of all, focus your thoughts on gratitude and truth. Did you read the list I gave you above about why your sacrifice matters? If you focus on the hardships of sacrifice, you are more likely to get stuck in the classic “mom anger.” You’ll feel frustrated, discouraged, and sad. Instead, focus on the joys and blessings of motherhood… including the sacrifices you’re making.
Try to sacrifice intentionally, rather than as a reaction or accident. If you know that a difficult season is coming up, you can mentally prepare for it ahead of time. This may be easy in the infant years – you know that you won’t get as much sleep as you’d like! These realistic expectations can help avoid anger and have a healthier, more positive perspective.
Don’t forget to fill yourself up, so you can pour out your energy and emotion into your kids. You need self care. You need good mental health. You need friends, time away from your kids, and activities that bring you rest and refreshment. Then, you have more energy and patience to give back. This includes daily spiritual disciplines, friendships, and self care.
If you struggle with this, you may want to grab my FREE 51 Self Care Ideas List, or grab the FREE Holy Habits: 45-Day Bible & Prayer Challenge to dive deeper into daily spiritual disciplines.
Next up: don’t let motherhood control your identity. Yes, it is a huge part of your life. But if your sense of self-worth and identity is tied up in motherhood, you will eventually be let down. Your kids will make mistakes. They will not always be thankful for your sacrifices. Your identity comes first and foremost from Jesus Christ, and you need deep intimacy in your marriage and your own mental health… not just with your kids. (Check out the devotional on Finding Your Identity in Christ if you struggle with this!)
Fifth, know your priorities and your boundaries. If you’re saying yes to everything, you may wind up saying no to important things simply because you run out of time. You need time to care for yourself, invest in your kids, and care for your family. When you can clarify your priorities, set healthy boundaries, and then live by that, it is much easier to have a joyful perspective even during hard seasons of sacrifice. (Episode 13 and Episode 49 have more helpful ideas about boundaries!)
Finally, surround yourself with people who build you up and encourage you. Do you have a mentor? Christian friends? If your friend group allows you to simply vent about the hardships of family life without offering prayer, encouragement, and help… you need new friends. As a great starting point, let me invite you to join us inside the private Facebook Group for this community – a place where we engage, encourage, and equip one another to love Christian family life!
Friday Faith Follow-up
Motherhood is exhausting. Hopefully, it is also joyful and fun and meaningful… but at times, it can completely wear us out.
What do we do when that happens? When we feel like we’re at the end of our rope, with nothing left to give our kids (or anyone else)? We come to Jesus. Join me today for a short devotional on Matthew 11:28-30 and be encouraged and lifted up, my friend.
Hey, before you go!
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A reminder of the Disclaimers & Disclosures Policy: I am an affiliate with many of the resources I recommend, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through my provided links. I never recommend products I don’t love! Also, I am a licensed therapist but this podcast is not therapy. It is not professional or personal advice to your specific situation. Get info about professional counseling here.
