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Episode 67 // My Top 10 Life Lessons for Loving Christian Family Life and Growing Your Most Important Relationships

What are we talking about today?

It’s busy, hectic, and sometimes frustrating… but we all want to love our family life.

We want to enjoy our people. We want to find peace and purpose at the end of a crazy day. We want to feel connected with our family. 

Well, today I’ve got 10 tips – my Top 10 Life Lessons – to help you do all of that. To help you not only get through the busy days, but LOVE family life. 

Ready to go deep with your favorite people??

Let’s dive in.

Listen to Episode 67:

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Snag your resources here!

If today’s topic is meaningful to you, you’ll also want to check out these earlier podcast episodes that connect with this same topic:

  • Episode 50 // Marriage & Motherhood… why it’s so hard, why it matters so much, and my #1 tip for doing it all well.
  • Episode 29 // The incredible benefits of writing things down! How journaling, gratitude lists, and using a written planner can strengthen your mental health, spiritual growth, and family life.
  • Episode 57 // My 10 favorite books, tools, and free resources (aka… gift ideas!) from marriage to biblical worldview and beyond

Let me also offer a FREE resource that I know will be helpful:

If your family routines and relationships are feeling a little stuck in a rut, grab my free 5-day email course: 5 Tools Every Busy Mom Needs to Move Her Family From Autopilot to Intimacy

[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.] 

Today's Episode Highlights

Let’s talk about some “lessons learned” for me in my journey as a marriage & family therapist.

I’ve been doing this work for over 10 years, I’ve been married not quite 10 years, I’ve got 3 toddlers at home, and I’ve been hosting the Love Your People Well podcast for almost a year. I’m not doing any of that perfectly, but I’m doing all of it by faith.

And… I’m following these 10 life lessons to make sure I do it all as well as I can.

10 Life Lessons for Loving Your People Well

  1. Live your priorities. This means you have to know what they are, and then actually live that way! Love God, Love Yourself, love Your Family, and Love Others. 
  2. Your thought life will control how much you enjoy this crazy thing we call life. You can’t control your emotions – your thoughts determine your emotions. Your behaviors, routines, habits, and actions are ultimately led by what you think about and what you think is true. (Episode 11 and Episode 39 have more help for this!)
  3. You are not the only person struggling. Family life is hard! Marriage takes work, no matter how “in love” you are. Motherhood takes a ridiculous amount of patience, perseverance, wisdom, and patience. (Yes, I said it twice.) 
  4. Your previous intimacy with Jesus does not guarantee or create current intimacy with Jesus. You can’t take spiritual growth or depth for granted! We need to be re-filled by the Holy Spirit DAILY. Consider Proverbs 16:18… pride goes before the fall. (If you want some support with this, check out our devotionals.)
  5. Ongoing assessment is the key to growth. What are the current strengths of your marriage? Your friendships? Your spiritual growth? What are the current areas of struggle that you’d like to change? If we never pause to check-in with God, ourselves, and our most important people… we’ll miss some big opportunities. (This is a big part of the free 5 Tools email course.)
  6. Have less stuff. Literally, less stuff. My days are exhausting at least in part because of the constant cleaning, organizing, cleaning up so that the kids (and I) don’t trip over every toy they’ve pulled out today… and I’ve learned over the years that visual clutter really stresses me out after awhile. Less stuff = less stress.
  7. Have less tech. I think this is something we all think about, and we know it could be valuable to our lives and our relationships, but it’s so darn hard to actually do. Yet, technology has a way of sucking our attention for far longer periods of time than we think it will. And it so convenient that we give in to temptation… if it’s there. Ultimately, tech can hurt our relationships and our own mental health if we don’t use it well. 
  8. Have plans… but don’t count on them. Focus instead on God’s Kingdom and what you KNOW He wants you to do (you know it because it’s in the Bible…). Things like: be kind, forgive others, help people in need, be generous, be grateful, and more. (I love The Hope Planner to help me focus on God first and my plans second… without forgetting my to-do list in the process!)
  9. Don’t waste energy on mom guilt, mom anger, comparison-itis, or other useless emotional journeys. Catch the thoughts as quickly as you can and redirect them. It might mean keeping a daily gratitude list, dealing with your anger issues, cutting back on social media, or getting deeper into God’s Word. (Episode 31,  Episode 37, and Episode 47 have more help for this.)
  10. Remember: life happens in seasons. The rhythms you have today, the way date nights look, the conversations you have with your kids… that will change. Two years from now, it will look different. Try to have realistic expectations of yourself and others, be grateful for the moment you are currently living in, and remember the things that are ultimately true: the gospel; your identify in Christ; people matter more than things or tasks. (Episode 35 may help.)

That's a lot!

It’s true. Family life is busy life. And if we want to do it well, if we want to love our people well, we have to be intentional about it. 

Don’t forget, I have plenty of additional resources to help you go deeper – just check out my recommended resources page.

Friday Faith Follow-up

As a follow-up to these 10 Life Lessons, I wanted to shared a more personal look at some of my routines that help me do that in my own household. I’m sharing 4 specific routines that help me love MY people well.

Want some additional encouragement and ideas? Check out this short bonus episode.

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A reminder of the Disclaimers & Disclosures Policy: I am an affiliate with many of the resources I recommend, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through my provided links. I never recommend products I don’t love! Also, I am a licensed therapist but this podcast is not therapy. It is not professional or personal advice to your specific situation. Get info about professional counseling here.