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Episode 63 // Finding peace in your home & your life: 5 things that disrupt our peace, and practical steps to get it back

What are we talking about today?

Do you want a more peaceful home? I know that I do! Sure, there are days when everything runs smoothly, everyone is happy, and life feels… peaceful. And then there are the normal days, when things are busy and peace feels just a little bit beyond our reach. 

Today, we’re looking at 5 things that disrupt our peace, and a specific action step to take for each one. We’re getting practical today! Let’s each walk away with strategies for our family, our home, that will build peace into our home life.

Ready? Let’s dive in!

Listen to Episode 63:

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Snag your resources here!

If today’s topic is meaningful to you, you’ll also want to check out these earlier podcast episodes that connect with this same topic:

  • Episode 19 // Start resolving conflict in your marriage TODAY by managing difficult conversations with less stress and more peace
  • Episode 28 // Using time management strategies to boost your relationships: My 3-step process to a successful weekly schedule that strengthens my relationships AND gets the to-do list checked off!
  • Episode 47 // 7 powerful Bible passages to help you manage impatience, anger, and emotional control
  • Episode 53 // How the Gospel changes us, shapes our family life, and brings us peace and happiness.

Let me also offer two tools that I know will be helpful:

  1. If anger, impatience, or other emotions are stealing your peace and joy, grab our 40 Day Devotional on Anger and Emotional Control.
  2. Conflict is a big stealer of peace in our family’s life. Grab your free copy of the 10-Point Conflict Resolution Checklist for a step-by-step plan to reduce conflict and increase peace.

[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.] 

Today's Episode Highlights

We all want to live in a peaceful home. It is meant to be our safe place, a refuge in a busy and stressful world. 

Yet sometimes, the world tries to sneak in and disrupt this peace. If we can recognize the things stealing our peace, we can do something about it. That’s what we’re looking at today.

What does peace look like?

Every family has different priorities and a different vision of “peace” for their home life. But there are some things that we simply cannot leave out, if we are to truly make a peaceful home.

  1. We must pursue intimacy with God. “And the peace of God, which transcends human understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus,” we are reminded in Philippians 4:7. True peace comes from God, and it won’t always make sense to us without him!
  2. Healthy communication with the people around us will regularly happen in our home. When we have conflict or distance I our most important relationships, we will not feel at peace in our home. Peace will include some amount of healthy communication in the home.
  3. There will be comfortable, “peaceful” emotions in our home. We will feel welcomed, confident, and have a sense of belonging in this space and in our family.

1. Anxiety & Worry

One thing that disrupts our peace is the experience of anxiety or worry. Yes, this might be in an individual’s own head and heart. But it doesn’t stay there. 

Anxiety changes our thoughts, our words, and our actions. It creates an emotionl atmosphere that is anything but peaceful. 

So what can we do about it?

We must follow the Apostle Paul’s guidance in Philippians 4: pray (and take our anxieties to God) and focus on gratitude (the opposite of worry).

2. Conflict

Romans 12 tells us that whenever and wherever it is possible, we should do our best to live at peace with one another.

But of course, in relationships, we cannot control the other person. And sometimes, despite our best efforts, our own emotions rise up and we stop pursuing peace and give in to conflict. 

So what can we do about it?

When you notice emotions getting high (yours or someone else’s) then pause. Take some time to cool down. But don’t forget, after you’ve both calmed down, continue the conversation to focus on problem-solving.

3. Lack of forgiveness

In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus tells his disciples that finding peace in our personal relationships has to happen before we can experience peace with God. 

When are are living in a home filled with pain, a lack of forgiveness, or a need for healing, we will not be living in peace. 

So what can we do about it?

Follow Jesus’ advice: Stop, go to the person, and try to reconcile. If you’re ready to do this, prepare your talking points (so you can stay more calm) and talk with them about the pain that happened. If you aren’t ready yet, pray for the Lord to give you a heart of forgiveness and to bring healing. 

4. Stress & Busyness

We live in a stress-filled world. Our schedules are filled to the brim. How do we think we can rest in a peaceful home when we are simply too busy?

Peace is far more difficult when we are stressed and we aren’t allowing time for rest and refreshment. 

So what can we do about it?

Instead of focusing on our busy schedule or stressful to-do list, we must step back and seek first God’s Kingdom (see the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7). It will help to have a family schedule or rhythm, but to make sure there is always some white space in it (for rest and relaxation). And also, hold that plan loosely! Don’t stress out when it changes. 

5. Sin (our own and that of those around us)

The reality of sin will always be present in our lives. It will impact our homes and our family life. The question is, how do we handle it?

We know that we are sinners, and our thoughts, words, and actions will sometimes disrupt our peace. Our family members are also sinners, and their sin will spill over to impact us as well. 

So what can we do about it?

It is helpful to start by reading the beatitudes in Matthew 5. Know what qualities and characteristics Jesus describes as “blessed.” And every day, lean into God. Do not give up on your daily spiritual disciplines. If you are struggling with repeating sin behaviors (for yourself or someone else), it may also be helpful to talk with a friend, pastor, or counselor.

Friday Faith Follow-up

In this quick follow-up episode, we’re turning to Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount to explore one of his beatitudes: “Blessed are the peacemakers.” Why does He say this? How do we become a peacemaker in our home?

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A reminder of the Disclaimers & Disclosures Policy: I am an affiliate with many of the resources I recommend, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through my provided links. I never recommend products I don’t love! Also, I am a licensed therapist but this podcast is not therapy. It is not professional or personal advice to your specific situation. Get info about professional counseling here.