Wondering if your words really matter? Here are 10 ways to tear down your Christian family life using only your words… what not to do!
Your words matter.
As we continue looking at how to be a Proverbs 14:1 woman, building up our homes instead of foolishly tearing them down… it’s time to look at how we use our words.
You probably know that your have a huge impact on your family.
And hopefully, there are a lot of very positive, encouraging, uplifting words being spoke open in your home!
But today, let’s take a different angle.
The reality is, we all make mistakes. We all get overwhelmed, angry, or frustrated. But if we let bad habits of communication linger in our homes, there will be a big impact.
So join me today to look at the opposite side of the coin. Here are 10 things NOT TO DO if you want to have a happy home life!
But, if you’re curious what the foolish woman of Proverbs 14:1 might say in her home… well, probably everything on this list.
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The wise VS foolish woman
Words slip off the tongue so easily.
But are they the right words? The most encouraging words? Words that will truly bless and build up your family?
I am confident that many times, the answer is yes! You tell your kids how much you love them. You compliment your husband. You apologize, tell jokes, soothe wounded egos, and offer encouragement and compassion.
Yet, I am also confident, that there are occasional days when you say things you later regret.
We all make mistakes. Our words fall short, or there is miscommunication.
Does this make us the foolish woman, tearing down our homes?
Habits create the home
I will not pretend that even occasional hurtful words can have a big impact in our homes.
But the real foolishness comes in when we allow these hurtful words or casually sarcastic words to become a habit.
How you talk to your husband and kids builds over time. Every day is unique, but patterns will develop.
Are those healthy patterns? Do your habits of speaking create happiness? Is the holiness of the Christian life reflected in your typical communication around the home?
10 ways to tear down your home using only your words
Let’s take a look at some very unhealthy, unhelpful, and unholy habits that could foolishly tear down your home.
- Say whatever you’re thinking without worrying about thinking about it first
- Call people bad names
- Tell your kids that they should just “follow their heart” or that they are always right
- Use phrases like “I told you so” as often as possible
- Lie to your husband or kids
- Yell and scream when you get angry (Keep your Cool, Mama! devotional)
- Hold your ground in every argument
- Don’t bother to pray for your family
- Complain to your husband every time he forgets something or messes something up
- Vent and complain to your girlfriends about things you dislike about your kids or husband
Do you believe that your words matter?
We’ve already looked at how your mindset has such an impact on building a happy home.
So it’s worth asking yourself what you really believe about the power of your words.
Do your words matter?
Can you imagine communicating with your family in the 10 ways listed above? Probably not!
We know not to act and talk this way. And yet… habits can build in sneaky ways.
When you’re feeling discouraged for a season or dealing with constant stress, it is easy to let your words slip up.
And if you don’t truly believe that your words matter, they will slip much more quickly. Much more easily.
Nonverbals matter too
Can I mention one more way to tear down your home through communication?
It’s not your words… exactly.
But as we looked at when we explored ways to speak encouraging words to our family (so… doing the OPPOSITE of this list of 10 ideas), we also considered the power of our nonverbal.
And your nonverbal communication can tear down your family just like your words can.
So, if you want an idea #11, which will quickly (and, may I remind you, foolishly) tear down your home… make sure to cross your arms a lot, look at your phone all day, and silently glare when you’re in a bad mood.
Please don't forget how much your words matter
I hope it is obvious, but I’ll say it anyway:
Do not create habits in your home of living out these 10 “tips”!
This is very clearly a what not to do post.
Your words matter greatly. If lies, harshness, and yelling begin to define communication in your home, you will not be building up your home. This is not how wise women communicate. It is not how to build up your home.
When your emotions are high, be intentional with your words.
Or if you’re feeling discouraged, be intentional with your words.
And on the great days, when everyone is happy, be intentional with your words.
Your words matter.
Listen to Episode #120.5
The Friday Faith Follow-Up Episode
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