What are we talking about today?
You’re busy. Of course you are! You’re a mom, a wife, with a thousand things to do everyday and time only to do about half of the to-do list… if that.
And you know what? It is still worth the time and energy to open your home and your life for hospitality. To invest in friendships. To offer connection to your church and community.
But how? Well, that’s what we’re tackling today. We’re taking a look at why hospitality and friendship are important, and 10 practical how-to steps to build relationships even during the busy seasons of life.
Let’s dive in.
Listen to Episode 84:
If today’s topic is meaningful to you, you’ll also want to check out these earlier podcast episodes that connect with this same topic:
- Episode 9 // Five reasons why it’s important to have deep friendships and community connections
- Episode 10 // Top 10 list for how to have deep friendships, connect at church, and enjoy your community life
- Episode 42 // It’s hard to make friends as an adult. Try these 8 tips to grow new, deep Christian friendships.
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Snag your resources here!
- If you’re feeling so drained that you can’t imagine making space in your life for hospitality… you might also need to consider some simple ways to add self care into your routine. Try my FREE 51 Self Care Ideas List.
- The deeper we are in relationship with God, the easier it is to imagine connecting with our friends, our church family, and those around us. Go deeper in your daily walk with the Lord with the FREE Holy Habits: 45-Day Bible & Prayer Challenge.
[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.]
Today's Episode Highlights
Feeling tired? (Probably.)
Feeling stressed? (Often.)
Feeling like there just isn’t enough time in the day? (Usually.)
But we live in a time and culture where most people are also feeling lonely, isolated, and disconnected. And that’s where hospitality and friendship comes in.
Let’s take a look at not only WHY hospitality matters, but practical ideas for how we can find the time, energy, and resources for it.
Why spend time, energy, and money on hospitality?
Well, let’s start with the most important reason: God wants us to be hospitable. It’s who He is, and who He wants us to be. Consider 1 Peter 4:9: “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” Pretty straightforward!
But there are tangible benefits for you (and your whole Christian family!) too. Hospitality and friendship refresh and restore us! We need friends. We need to feel like we are contributing and helping others. Life is better when lived in community.
Look at Hebrews 10: 24-25: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
A third reason for why this matters is that hospitality fuels our spiritual growth and helps us (and others) to stand firm in the faith during difficult times. As Paul tells the Thessalonians church: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) The “therefore” is building on Paul’s description of the dark world we live in… and we still do.
Finally, our gifts and talents and blessings are meant to help others; they are given for the “common good.” We see this clearly in 1 Corinthians 12:4-7, which concludes: “Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.”
How do we find the time, energy, and money for hospitality?
- Invite others to simply share life with us. Are you going grocery shopping? Call a friend and ask them to come. Are you about to sit for two hours while your child is at a sports practice? Invite a friend to come along.
- When you sign up for “extra” things like volunteering at an event, ask people to join you – and choose people whom you’ve been wanting to pour into. Yes, we need time with friends. But you can also keep an eye out for new people at church, people who are in a difficult season of life and need extra encouragement, or others whom the Lord may give you a particular concern for.
- Lower your expectations of your environment. Your house does not need to be perfect. (Mine never is.) You can serve a simple meal of spaghetti.
- Invite people over to your home at “off” times when they won’t expect a meal or perhaps as big of an “event.” This might mean inviting them to come for dessert only, after the kids are in bed, or on a Saturday afternoon to sit outside on the porch. You can tell them a specific invitation that may require less energy and money on your part.
- Make sure you are not stretching yourself too thin. If you’re an introvert, you need time alone to recharge. If your days are filled to the brim with activities, you may need friend time that is really low-key. It’s okay to invite people over to sit on the couch and drink tea together. It’s okay to look at your month’s calendar and simply pick one day to be really intentional with hospitality because otherwise it’s too emotionally draining.
- Focus more on the conversation and the interactions than on the “event.” Ask questions that seek to get to know someone well. Remember details of what they share with you, and follow up later with a phone call or text. If they are struggling, pause in the moment and pray for them out loud. Share about your life in a real and vulnerable way, to deepen that relationships.
- Prepare a list of questions or conversation-starters to take some pressure off yourself. Many people feel awkward initiating a new relationship or trying to build a friendship. It’s okay to prepare in advance with questions you could ask or ideas about topics to discuss that can get the ball rolling and make everyone feel more comfortable.
- Focus on inviting people to events rather than your personal home. You may find it easier to get a group together to go out to dinner, to attend a local event, or to help a friend plan a gettogether at her home… so you don’t have to worry about cooking or cleaning.
- Connect people with other people. You do not need to be the sole focus of hospitality. If you meet two people whom you think would be good friends, introduce them. If you know someone has a need and you know someone else who could meet that need, connect them together – even if you could also meet that need yourself! You don’t need to do it all. Connecting people is a great way to build hospitality into your life and your community.
- Focus first on your priority relationships – staying close with God, your husband, your kids, and staying sane and peaceful yourself. Don’t neglect time with your family in order to invite people to the house or attend events. If your kids are feeling overshadowed by all of the people you invite over to share the gospel with them, you need to pause and focus on your kids. Make sure your whole family feels included and important in the experience of hospitality… not only the person to whom you are trying to be hospitable.
Friday Faith Follow-up
As we consider the value of hospitality and friendship in our lives, we cannot ignore the role of the local church. Are you plugged in? Connected? Growing? Serving?
In this short follow-up episode, we’re taking a look at why your involvement in a local church matters, and what to do when you’re looking for a church home or feeling discontent with your current church.
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