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Episode 42 // It’s hard to make friends as an adult. Try these 8 tips to grow new, deep Christian friendships.

What are we talking about today?

My friend, we are talking about… friendship. 

We all want good friends. In fact, I would argue that we NEED deep, healthy friendships to enjoy life to the fullest.

But sometimes it seems like it’s harder to develop real friendships as an adult. 

Life gets busy. We commit so much time to our family, our jobs, our home, our obligations… we sometimes feel left in the dust with our friendships. Not to mention the awkwardness of walking up to a stranger to say hello!

Don’t let the excuses hold you back, friend. Today we’re looking at 8 realistic, practical tips that will help you develop deep, real friendships – at any stage of life.

Ready? Let’s dive in.

Listen to Episode 42:

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Snag your resources here!

If today’s topic is meaningful to you, you’ll also want to check out these earlier podcast episodes that connect with this same topic:

  • Episode 9 // Five reasons why it’s important to have deep friendships and community connections
  • Episode 10 // Top 10 list for how to have deep friendships, connect at church, and enjoy your community life
  • Episode 25 // Improve your communication skills with these 5 helpful tips to become a great listener

Let me also offer a FREE resource that I know will be helpful!

[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.] 

Today's Episode Highlights

We all need friends in our life. Even with a wonderful marriage, close relationships with our kids, and deep intimacy with the Lord… we need fellowship with other Christian friends!

Yes, I’m a marriage and family therapist. So most of the “relationship” conversations that I have with people are about their family relationships or their own personal mental health or emotional wellness. But you know what? It is not at all unusual to have friendship-focused conversations with the women I work with in counseling. 

Making friends takes time, effort, emotion, and perseverance. 

Deepening those friendships takes even more!

That’s why I recommend these 8 steps for building new, real friendships.

8 steps to building new friendships

  • Seek out women in a similar stage of life. This might mean joining a marriage couples Bible study at your church or regularly attending the children’s story hour at the library. Find places to spend your time where you know other women (potential friends!) will be. 

  • Take the initiative to walk over, say hello, and ask them a few questions. If you’re nervous about this, prepare in advance! What do YOU like to be asked? Ask them that same question. Move the conversation forward. (p.s. … People love to talk about themselves.)

  • In that conversation, use their name. This shows interest and that you are listening. Then, in future conversations, remember some details that they shared so you can circle back to it. Again… you were listening! If you’re worried that you’ll forget, jot down a few simple notes afterward in your phone. (No one needs to know!)

  • Get their phone number in that first meeting, and use it within the week! Send a text to invite them to an outing. This can be simple – a playdate, or even just saying “I look forward to seeing you again at (whatever events you met them at initially). 

  • Be vulnerable and share things that are going on in your life that are deeper than “small talk” about the weather, the desserts at the event, or your weekend plans. This isn’t a therapy session, but the friendship will deepen as you each start to share emotions and personal stories. 

  • Use social media to your advantage to find women with similar interests or stage of life. On Facebook, there are certainly Groups that meet your interests. (In fact, you can join our private Facebook Group right now, totally free, and connect with some like-minded Christian mamas!) On Instagram, use local hashtags and reach out with encouragement. Use social media for social connections.

  • Initiate hospitality and invite people into your home. Trust me… you don’t need to worry about how clean your house is! Shove the toys and magazines in a closet and sweep the crumbs under the rug. No one will know. Invite people into your life to deepen those relationships. 

  • Be purposeful to stay connected with old friends! Social media, letters, text messaging, and phone calls are easy, and can be used intentionally to stay connected with friends new and old.

Hey, before you go!

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A reminder of the Disclaimers & Disclosures Policy: I am an affiliate with many of the resources I recommend, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through my provided links. I never recommend products I don’t love! Also, I am a licensed therapist but this podcast is not therapy. It is not professional or personal advice to your specific situation. Get info about professional counseling here.