13 Quick Marriage Intimacy Exercises For Christian Couples

Fun ideas for marriage intimacy exercises to boost your relationship in 5 minutes or less each day, from a Christian marriage counselor.

Wanting some fun marriage intimacy exercises?

Every wife wants to enjoy her marriage… and a big part of that includes intimacy!

So, what do you do when the physical intimacy in your marriage isn’t quite where you want it to be? When you’d rather enjoy some dark chocolate and a bubble bath than try to get in the mood for a spicy night in the bedroom

That’s exactly what we’re tackling today, friend.

Today, I want to share 13 quick marriage intimacy exercises that I use again and again as a marriage counselor. Connect, have some fun together, and boost that intimacy!

Each of the intimacy exercises below does not need to include sex and does not need to take more than 5 minutes a day. But they will definitely build up intimacy – emotional, spiritual, and even physical intimacy!

Let’s jump in.

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Yes, marriage intimacy matters for Christians too!

As a marriage counselor, I’ve seen the power of intimacy in a marriage. When a couple is enjoying intimacy together, they typically feel a lot closer. They feel connected. They have more happiness in the marriage.

But when intimacy is lacking… a wife and husband can wind up feeling like roommates. There is a lot of disappointment, guilt, frustration, and dissatisfaction.

No more, friend!

Even in a Christian marriage, when intimacy is lacking, you aren’t going to feel as emotionally connected! You aren’t going to enjoy your marriage as much.

So I want to share 13 quick and easy marriage intimacy exercises to help you BOOST that connection as quickly as you can!

Ready?

Marriage intimacy exercises to try right away

As you jump into these marriage intimacy exercises, let me give a couple of ground rules for you.

Yes, these exercises will include both of you. It’s okay if one of you is “into it” more than the other, but you’ll get the most out of these exercises if you do them together with a positive attitude.

Also, it’s totally okay if these exercises lead you to close the bedroom door… you know what I mean… and totally okay if it doesn’t! If things in your marriage are rocky today, you might want to take sex off the table for a week and try several exercises a day. It’ll do wonders!

Finally, if you’re still really struggling in your intimacy, definitely check out these Christian online courses from Sheila Wray Gregoire – they are simple, helpful, and made specifically for Christian couples.

(1) Non-sexual touching.

Use touch throughout the day, not just behind the bedroom door! You can hold hands, rub his back, ruffle his hair, press your knees together when you sit on the couch… the sky’s the limit.

(2) Take turns practicing a speaker-listener conversation.

The “speaker” shares their thought on a topic. The “listener” summarizes what they heard. Only after the speaker confirms that the listener heard them correctly can you switch roles. Make eye contact throughout!

(3) Pray out loud together.

Pray for each other, for your kids, for your family. Give thanks to God, praise God, and celebrate life together. Pray for your marriage, your intimacy, your connection.

(4) Say each other’s name out loud during conversations.

You will need to practice this! Yes, you can also use pet names like “babe” or “sweetheart.” Whatever makes you feel connected. But research is clear – we all like to hear our name.

(5) Play a game to find a new time or way every day for a week (or a month!) to say “I love you” to each other.

Yes, out loud. Yes, directly to each other. Sure, you could make it a competition… if that builds intimacy for your relationship and doesn’t just make you mad. Make it fun!

(6) Find a “phone zone” and put your technology in a different room, while you have a grown up conversation.

You would be surprised how often your conversations are distracted by technology! So get it physically away from you and then have a purposeful conversation with a goal of emotionally connecting.

(7) Keep a running list of things you love about him and tell him at least one item every day before you go to bed.

Maybe it’s his personality, his values, his body, things he does… there is no bad compliment here! Make it spicy and see how that impacts your going-to-bed routine.

(8) Spend a few minutes doing paired breathing.

Sit facing each other, make eye contact, and spend a minute or two just breathing together. No talking. You could lean your foreheads together or try to synchronize your breathing if you want to. Just BE together in the presence of the Lord.

(9) When he asks you “what’s wrong?” answer honestly.

This has been a hard thing for me in my marriage – but it really bonds us when I am honest about what I need and where I’m struggling! Make sure to combine it with the above and put away technology, turn toward each other – and be vulnerable. (And be careful not to blame him.)

Grab a devotional to help you connect:

(10) Find a shared hobby to enjoy regularly.

Even if it’s just a favorite television show to start, do something together that you can both enjoy. Bonus points if you can touch each other during or snuggle up together.

(11) Start a couch conversation habit.

Take at least 5 minutes every day to sit on the couch and talk about something that’s just personally connecting. Not the budget or the chores or the calendar. Not about the kids or the laundry. Talk about what you’re thinking, feeling, enjoying, wanting, struggling with – anything personal.

(12) Take time for a long, slow cuddle.

Take sex off the table and wrap your arms around each other to snuggle up. You could be in bed or on the couch. Wear as many clothes as you feel comfortable in. Try to enjoy just being physically close without the pressure of having sex.

(13) Build your love map of each other.

There’s a famous marriage researcher named John Gottman who created the idea of “love maps.” Basically, build your knowledge of each other as people! Ask questions, get creative or quirky, and try to get to know each other better.

Finding time for marriage intimacy exercises

You’re busy and tired – that’s normal for mom life! But it is definitely worth it to invest time and energy into your marriage.

After all, marriage is a foundational piece of a healthy, happy, and holy family life. It blesses your kids to have a happy marriage – and it will certainly bless you and your husband!

Here are a few ideas for squeezing in a little more time for your marriage:

Put date nights on the schedule in advance, so they don’t get crowded out.
Get up a few minutes earlier than the kids to talk over coffee.
After the kids are (finally) in bed, try the exercises about around putting away technology and spending purposeful time together.
Take some online courses (these are the ones I recommend for Christian couples!) or invest in other ways to learn skills that help you enjoy bedroom time more (so you’re more likely to want to be intimate).
Take some individual habits, like your Bible reading habit, and do them at the same time together.

Listen to Episode #228

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Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist but my podcast, blog, and resources are not professional or personal advice. I am an affiliate for many of the resources that I link to, and may earn a small commission if you purchase through my link. Read my full disclaimer here.