What are we talking about today?
Have you ever walked away from a conversation with someone feeling worse about yourself? Comparing your messy life to their seemingly great life?
Comparison-itis is no fun, and it’s not helpful for our mom guilt!
We’re tackling that today. We’re talking about why this happens to us and 5 action steps we can take to crush comparison-itis in its tracks.
God has a good plan for you, my friend… and it’s going to look different from his good plan for everyone else!
Ready to stop that mom guilt in its tracks? Let’s dive in.
Listen to Episode 37:
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Snag your resources here!
If today’s topic is meaningful for you, you’ll definitely want to check out these earlier episodes:
- Episode 13 // Boundaries are so important! But do you really know what they look like?
- Episode 18 // 4 quick tips to family boundaries when you’re an overwhelmed and busy mom!
- Episode 11 // Two Truths and a Lie… Are your thoughts grounded in truth? Here are 2 truths that we should be thinking about and 1 lie that we sometimes believe instead.
And don’t forget to check out your FREE resources right here!
[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.]
Today's Episode Highlights
I’ve recently had the experience – several times! – of sharing my little blurb (who I am, what I do) with new people at church. New potential friends. And after sharing, they’ve commented… “Wow. I don’t know how you do it all.”
Sometimes, that might be a nice compliment. But in these recent interactions, I see the look on their face. I can tell that they are walking away from our introduction feeing worse about themselves. I can see the comparison-its in action.
It’s awful.
Why we start comparing ourselves to others
This is an awful experience because this is the opposite of my goal! My ministry is about helping women strengthen their relationships – including their own mental health, self care, emotional wellness… helping women love themselves well. And mom guilt does not help us do that!
Plus, there’s the other sneaky thing that their comparison-its is not based on truth.
But we’ll get there in a minute.
In my experience, there are 2 reasons why comparison-its snags us:
- Our Enemy, Satan, is the father of lies and He loves to whisper self-defeating thoughts in our ear.
- We have a good and deep desire to love our people well, and we take it seriously when we find out or think that we are failing in that calling.
When these two things collide, we have a recipe for disaster. We compare ourself to others. The mom guilt kicks in.
The thing is, usually we are comparing our WORST self or experiences with the other person’s BEST picture of themself of their life.
5 strategies to deal with comparison-itis
To really get the most from these 5 strategies, you’ll want to listen to the full podcast episode.
But here is a quick breakdown:
- Look behind the scenes. Get a more accurate picture. When people hear my “blurb” about myself – I’m at home with my triplet toddlers, with a part-time job and a new ministry including the Love Your People Well Podcast) – they miss the behind the scenes reality! I have strengths and talents God gave me that prepared me for this season. I have a TON of help from family and friends. I enjoy my work and my home. And most of my work tasks don’t take as long as people might think!
- Lean into God and his plan for you. He doesn’t make mistakes. His plans are good. And his plans for you probably do not mirror his plans for this other person you might be comparing yourself to today.
- Be clear about your priorities. This is where your energy and emotion and time are going – thank goodness! And they are different from other people’s priorities. That’s okay. But it makes comparison really difficult… and unhelpful.
- Stop that thought in it’s tracks. Recognize and label it as either a lie or as unhelpful. Seriously – say it “out loud” in your own head! Say “that is not true” and shift your thought process.
- Shift your thoughts to focus on gratitude. What ARE you thankful for in your current season of life? What blessings are you thankful for? Intentionally name a few!
A few final thoughts as we close out.
I mentioned Episode 26 in this episode and you might find that really helpful to get a nice “behind the scenes” into my spiritual walk… and my regular shortcomings in that area!
And finally… my friend, don’t forget to join us in the new Facebook Group! We are going to have a lot of fun. The group is 100% for engaging, equipping, and encouraging YOU and our sisters in Christ as we love our people well. Join us right here!
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A reminder of the Disclaimers & Disclosures Policy: I am an affiliate with many of the resources I recommend, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through my provided links. I never recommend products I don’t love! Also, I am a licensed therapist but this podcast is not therapy. It is not professional or personal advice to your specific situation. Get info about professional counseling here.
