Want to strengthen your marriage? Protect, grow, and help your marriage with this counseling activity I use as a marriage therapist // Episode 41

What are we talking about today?

Today we are strengthening our marriages, my friend.

I’m sharing the details of a counseling intervention activity that I use frequently with couples – and it can help your marriage too, whether things are pretty good, really great, or quite a struggle. 

I’ll spill the beans right now: all you need for this activity is to find 15 minutes in your day.


It’s not a magic fifteen minutes, but with the activity that we’ll talk through in this episode, you’ll have some great ideas for how to use that time in a meaningful way.

Want to help your marriage? Protect your bond? Spice things up? 

Let’s dive in.

Listen to Episode 41:

[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.]

Snag your resources here!

If today’s topic is meaningful to you, you’ll also want to check out these earlier podcast episodes that connect with this same topic:

  • Episode 30 // Deepen your marriage in 5 minutes a day with this simple and fun activity … which is also foundational to a healthy relationship and happy marriage!
  • Episode 16 // This simple change in your communication will improve your marriage, your parenting… actually, every relationship you have!

Let me also offer a few resources that I know will be helpful for your marriage.

  • Grab a copy of my FREE Conflict Resolution Checklist.  When tension is building, just pull out this worksheet and walk through the 10 steps to restore peace and (hopefully!) have a productive conversation. 
  • If sex is an issue in your marriage, you are not alone.  When we would rather eat chocolate and take a bubble bath rather than have sex with our husband, help is needed! I strongly recommend the e-courses from Sheila Wray Gregoire, known as the “Christian sex lady”who will help you boost your libido, get to the “Big O” with your husband, and enjoy sex again!

[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.] 

Today's Episode Highlights

Today, I’m introducing you to a simple marriage counseling activity that I call: The 3×5 Marriage Insurance Tool.

Is it a magic want? No. Will it solve every problem in your marriage? No. 

Can you expect it to be awkward at first, then sort of enjoyable, and then become something that you look forward to every day? Absolutely.

This tool is free, easy, and typically becomes a fun relationship-builder in a marriage. But I’ll warn you now… it does request one action step today. I need you to find 15 minutes in your day-to-day life and commit it to this activity. 

(But let’s be honest, if you can’t find 15 minutes to regularly invest in your marriage… there are bigger problems at play. )

  • Before we jump in, let me encourage you to hop back and listen to Episode 30, where I shared about a fun 5-minute activity to boost your marriage. That activity could fit right into this 3×5 Marriage Insurance Tool, and it’s a good jumping off point!

Why do you need this tool?

Here’s why you need the 3×5 Marriage Insurance Tool:

  1. it’s not much time
  2. it’s something you’ll start to look forward to every day (both of you!)
  3. it keeps your marriage at the front of your mind all day
  4. it creates intentional space for the Holy Spirit to work in your marriage
  5. it’s flexible to work around your schedule… and you may want to give another 15 minutes at the end of the day, because this activity is great emotional foreplay!

(If reason #5 is the most appealing to you, you may want to check out the physical intimacy resources from Sheila Wrap Gregoire, the “Christian sex lady” who can help you enjoy sex with your hubby again.)

Ultimately, we need this 3×5 Marriage Insurance Tool in our back pocket because life is hard

We are busy. We argue. We have different hobbies, preferences, priorities, habits. This activity helps protect our marriage and strengthen the husband-wife bond.

The key action step: 15 minutes

This activity boils down to committing 15 minutes every day to your husband. It won’t fall apart if you don’t do it every day, but it needs to be a regular occurrence if it’s truly going to be a “marriage insurance” level tool.

Specifically, you’re going to find 3 chunks of 5-minutes during the day:

  • 5 minutes before work
  • 5 minutes after work
  • 5 minutes before bed

What to do in that 15 minutes?

In each of those 5 minute chunks, you’re going to get face-to-face with your husband and have a conversation. 

That’s it. 

Yes, it sounds simple – but we both know that in real life, things make it difficult. 

So I recommend a few things being in place to make this 15 minutes a day really meaningful:

  • Have ground rules for your 15 minutes. No venting. No grumbling. No whining. No review of the kids’ schedules, the calendar, or family logistics. Focus on connecting. 
  • No distractions allowed. Turn off the TV. Put down your phone. Let the kids know you are not to be disturbed for 5 minutes. Be intentional about looking at each other and being present in the moment together.
  • Expect it to be awkward at first. If this is new, it’s okay to feel like it’s a little weird! Just give it time. If you need help managing conflict, grab my free Conflict Resolution Checklist. I have plenty of other helpful resources on my Recommended Resources Page.

The whole purpose of this time is to connect. Check in. Pray, talk, laugh… whatever you want! Catch up and stay connected. 

Every day. 

Hey, before you go!

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A reminder of the Disclaimers & Disclosures Policy: I am an affiliate with many of the resources I recommend, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through my provided links. I never recommend products I don’t love! Also, I am a licensed therapist but this podcast is not therapy. It is not professional or personal advice to your specific situation. Get info about professional counseling here.