Deepen your marriage in 5 minutes a day with this simple and fun activity … which is also foundational to a healthy relationship and happy marriage // Episode 30

What are we talking about today?

How well do you REALLY know your spouse?

This question is central to your marriage.

You simply cannot have a meaningful, healthy, lasting, joy-filled marriage without a deep knowledge of each other. 

But don’t worry – this doesn’t have to take a ton of time or energy! As a counselor, there is a simple activity that I do with every couple who walks through the door. And today, I’m sharing that activity with you. It’s simple. It’s quick. It’s fun. It’s easy. 

And it’s foundational to a happy and healthy marriage. (Don’t worry, we’ll look at how to use this activity with other important relationships too!)

Ready, friend? Let’s dive in!

Listen to Episode 30:

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Snag your resources here!

If today’s topic is meaningful for you, there are a few resources that I know will help you.

  • Episode 12 // 6 Creative Ideas For Devotional Time With Your Husband to grow spiritual intimacy in your marriage
  • Episode 16 // This simple change in your communication will improve your marriage, your parenting… actually, every relationship you have!
  • Episode 19 // Start resolving conflict in your marriage TODAY by managing difficult conversations with less stress and more peace

These episodes are specifically about deepening your marriage relationship, and I know you’ll find them helpful. 

In addition to some binge-listening, I have two resources that I think will bless your marriage:

[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.] 

Today's Episode Highlights

Let me jump right to the point: The activity that I know will help your marriage (in less than 5 minutes a day!) is an activity called Love Maps. 

Love Maps. 

This is not my idea. Actually, love maps is the foundation of John Gottman’s concept of the Sound Relationship House. Dr. Gottman is a marriage researcher with decades of experience and incredible knowledge in helping people build and maintain happy marriages. 

> You can learn more about The Gottman Institute here. (Just note, this is not a Christian-specific institute or research.)

Love Maps is building a knowledge base of who your spouse is. 

When we are dating, we tend to build our Love Map easily. We ask each other questions! We share about our past, our present, and our hopes and dreams for the future. We share about ourselves. 

But after we get married… have kids… get promoted… move… well, life gets busy. Conflict might build. Our schedule fills up. Social media steals our attention. And sometimes, we forget to continue building our knowledge of each other. 

How to use the Love Maps activity

The idea of love maps is foundational to a healthy and happy marriage. We have to know each other in order to love each other well!

And a really simple activity is to ask each other “Love Maps” questions. 

> You can download the resource that I use in my marriage therapy sessions… which again, is from Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman with The Gottman Institute

Whether this is a date-night activity or an every-evening-before-bed activity, it doesn’t matter! Asking each other intentional, quick questions will build your Love Map over time. 

Here are some examples of Love Maps questions:

  • What is your favorite hobby?
  • Who are your two best friends?
  • What did you do today at work?
  • When was the last time you were really surprised?

Using Love Maps with all of your important relationships

It may not surprise you to know that Love Maps is actually foundational for every important relationship that you have. 

That’s right. 

Build your Love Map with your spouse – yes!!! But don’t stop there. Build your Love Map with your children. With your friends. Even with God: when you read the Bible, seek to understand who He is, his character, his preferences, his priorities. 

The better that we know our people, the better we can love them. 

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A reminder of the Disclaimers & Disclosures Policy: I am an affiliate with many of the resources I recommend, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through my provided links. I never recommend products I don’t love! Also, I am a licensed therapist but this podcast is not therapy. It is not professional or personal advice to your specific situation. Get info about professional counseling here.