4 Key Questions Every Mom Must Answer In Order To Build Great Christian Family Relationships // Episode 115

What home life are you trying to build? Here are 4 questions to consider if you’re trying to build great Christian family relationships.

family celebrating in their home

4 key questions

As Proverbs 14:1 tell us, it takes a wise woman to build her home. Family life is a lot of work, and it can be stressful and discouraging at times. To get through the tough times, you need clarity on why family life matters and what you’re really trying to build. 

Today, I’m outlining 4 key questions that EVERY mom needs to have a good answer for. Honestly, whether you’re a Christian mom, a stay-at-home-mom, a new mom, or a tired mom (…we all are…) these questions are worth thinking through. 

Consider these questions with me today, and together we’ll build great Christian family relationships.

We’re continuing our deep dive into Proverbs 14:1, and these questions will begin to point you toward how to wisely build your home and family life.

Ready, friend? Let’s dive in.

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resources for you

If today’s topic is meaningful to you, these resources will give some additional support as you seek to love your Christian family well:

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[This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made, I may receive a small commission at no extra charge to you.] 

Last week, we looked at the power of Proverbs 14:1 – “A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”

If you want to be that wise woman (and I know that I do!), there are some helpful questions that will help you get there. 

Question 1: Why does Christian family life matter to me?

In some ways, the answer to this question will be different for every mom. After all, each family is unique. We each create our own rhythms, habits, and family dynamics. 

But there are two ways that each and every one of us find it important to build great Christian family relationships:

  1. Family is ordained by God. At the very beginning of Creation, God made man and woman and told them to be fruitful and multiple. Family matters!
  2. Our most meaningful relationships come from our family. Even though we don’t control them or pick our family, they have huge impact and are with us for our entire lives. 

Question 2: If I am loving my family well, what will I be doing regularly?

Now we’re getting into some individual answers! If you close your eyes and imagine what you do to love your family… what are those action steps? What are you actually doing

Definitely take time for personal reflection on these questions. 

And make sure to consider some action steps that I think are key for every family relationship. In my experience as a family counselor, there are some things that EVERY mom will be doing. For me, these include:

  • praying for my family
  • speaking kindly
  • communicating well
  • having fun and enjoying family relationships
  • discipling my kids purposefully
  • honoring my husband
  • managing my home well

Don’t worry, over the next few weeks of this mini-series digging into Proverbs 14:1, we’ll get a lot more specific on HOW to do these things!

Question 3: If a reality TV show was filming a normal day in my house, and we are doing well at loving each other well, what would people see happening?

Sure, if a reality TV crew came to film your family, you might be on your best behavior. But let’s imagine it’s still a normal day. What would they see happening in your home?

Consider the actions, behaviors, habits, or patterns of interaction would people OBSERVE in your family relationships. What would they see?

In the last question , we considered the action steps you personally can take as you build great Christian family relationships. But now, we want to consider how everyone in the family would be acting and interacting.

Some things that an outside observer would hopefully see happening include:

  • kind words being spoken
  • people speaking to each other with respect
  • smiling kids
  • peaceful (quiet) moments
  • excitement and kisses when Daddy comes home from work
  • routines around cleaning and mealtimes

Question 4: Is anything getting in the way of me living this out?

Well, friend, this is where the rubber hits the road, as they say. 

You might find yourself thinking, “Okay, Jess. Of course I know that I should speak kindly/disciple my kids/have good routines. That’s no surprise. The hard part is actually doing it!”

Yes. You’re right! This IS the hard part. 

Mom life is tough. For every mom: Christian mom, stay-at-home mom, full-time-working mom. Tired mom. Overwhelmed mom. Happy mom. We all struggle sometimes.

Family life takes a lot of work. There are moments of joy and peace, when everything is going the way you dream it will.

But it isn’t always like that. Just as often (maybe more often, especially when your kids are little!) there is impatience, defiance, complaining, whining, grumbling, and so many other things that get in the way of doing what we really want to be doing in our relationships. 

a wise woman builds her home... and is realistic about her struggles

Over the next several weeks, we will dig into a lot of practical strategies for how to do the things that we want to do in our family relationships. How to be the “wise woman” of Proverbs 14:1.

Right now, it’s simply worth being realistic with yourself (and God). Take time to reflect on this question. And be realistic about it.

What gets in the way for you when you try to "build your home"? As an unique woman with her own strengths and struggles, what gets in your way?

I’ll toss our 3 ideas that are REALLY common. They are definitely struggles for me and my family relationships. And I’m a family counselor – I’ve seen these pop up again and again for so many families. 

  1. Pride
  2. Anger and losing your temper
  3. Disrupted sleep and being tired

Struggling does not mean that you don’t love your family. In fact, if you didn’t want great relationships with them, it wouldn’t be much of a struggle! You wouldn’t worry about it.

Friend, over the next few weeks, we’ll start digging into practical strategies to help us be wise women building up our homes. Realistic action steps to help us act, talk, think, and interact in the ways we want to.

For now, take some time to reflect on these free journaling prompts. And be praying about your home and family life.

quote Struggling does not mean that you don't love your family. In fact, if you didn't want great relationships with them, it wouldn't be much of a struggle! you wouldn't worry about it.

Bible Verses To Help You Build Great Christian Family Relationships

The Friday Faith Follow-up on the Love Your People Well Podcast

How does the Bible play into your home life? Is it a centerpiece, or an afterthought? 

If you want to build great Christian family relationships, you have to start with God’s Word. In this short follow-up episode, we’ll take a look at 4 important Bible verses to help us understand godly wisdom for building great family relationships.

Don’t forget to grab your free journaling prompts to help you dig into these Bible passages. Now let’s take a look at how to wisely build our homes.

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Hugs & blessings to you, my friend! I’ll talk to you soon.

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Disclaimers: I am a licensed therapist but my podcast, blog, and resources are not professional or personal advice. I am an affiliate for many of the resources that I link to, and may earn a small commission if you purchase through my link. Read my full disclaimer here.