Being a stay at home Christian mom can be overwhelming. These are my best tips as a mom of 4 to enjoy it and do a great job with your family.
I love being a stay at home Christian mom
Being a stay at home Christian mom is SUCH a great blessing. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy!
We live in a busy, distracting, technology-filled world. This can make it hard to know what “success” really looks like as a stay at home mom… let alone, how to get there.
So today, I want to share my best tips for making the most of your days as a stay at home Christian mom! These are the things that help me feel successful, enjoy my days, and do what God is calling me to do.
Being intentional about how you think about your days and approach the things that happen will bring you a lot of joy! So let’s go there, friend.
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The key priority for every Christian mom
Our true understanding of success has nothing to do with where we spend our days, at home or at work or anywhere in between.
For every Christian mom, success means that day by day, you are showing your family the love of Christ.
That might sound simple – but it’s actually really hard!
What should it include? Well, the Bible shows us a lot of ways that Jesus loves us and that we should then show to others. A few that pop up most often in my days as a stay at home Christian mom are:
- Showing kindness
- Being patient
- Having compassion
- Seeking unity with my husband
- Helping the kids find unity as siblings
- Diligently teaching my kids
- Handling my frustration and other hard emotions
- Doing family discipleship
Trust me, there are more! None of these things are easy, but they are really important and very meaningful. And thankfully, we have the Holy Spirit to help us!
It's even harder when you're at Christian mom who is staying home with her kids!
Let’s not forget, the ultimate goal is still the same: showing your family the love of Christ is your top priority.
And when you’re home all day with your kids, finding success with this goal gets even harder.
Why?
There’s just more time together.
More time together is a blessing and a joy. It’s probably a big part of why you decided to be a stay at home mom!
But more time together also means more opportunities for things to fall apart. More chances for the kids to bicker. More times that you might lose your patient or your temper. The house gets messier, because people are using it all day.
It’s sneaky, but it’s true – being a stay at home mom is actually a lot of work!
There’s the physical work of managing the house, but also a constant flow of emotional and mental work as you engage with your family.
It can be a lot harder to stay patient, handle discipline, and show up joyfully every day when you can start to feel like you’re stuck at home, or when your family relationships are struggling.
GO DEEPER: Dive into Scripture with my 40-day devotional for moms, Joy In The Journey.
How I have found success as a stay at home Christian mom
Let me be really clear right away: I mess up all the time.
I definitely lose my patience, yell at my kids, get annoyed by the messy house, and wonder where on earth the time flies to every day.
None of us are perfect.
I’ve been a stay at home Christian mom for almost 6 years now. We have triplets who are almost 6… yes, triplets! And a special little guy right behind them who turns 3 in a few days. We’re homeschooling, so we have a LOT of time together every day!
The days are busy.
And it is a priority for me to not only be here with my kids, but to build great relationships with them and to enjoy my days and feel successful as a mom!
So, I’ve tried a lot over the years. I’ve definitely learned a lot over the years. Even with my professional work as a marriage and family therapist, there is a lot of trial-and-error with my own Christian family life!
But these are the core things I’ve learned that help me feel SUCCESSFUL and enjoy my time as a stay at home Christian mom.
1. We must expect that we will make sacrifices... without our family saying thank you.
It’s really nice when my kids say thank you to me. And we work on teaching them manners exactly like this.
But they don’t do it nearly as often as I think they should.
The reality of human nature is that we all take things for granted. In fact, I hope that my kids WILL take it for granted that I cook their meals, kiss their boo-boos, and listen to their stories.
The Christian life centers on sacrifice. Jesus sacrificed himself for us, and He calls us to sacrifice for others. We show humility and love through caring for others.
And being a stay at home mom is exactly the place where we will sacrifice the most.
Should you work with your kids on being thankful and helping with household chores? Of course! But if you’re counting on that, it will be a lot harder to remain patient, slow to anger, and joyful.
Remember: you are loving your family for the glory of God, not for their thanks and appreciation.
RELATED: The Ultimate Guide On How A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
2. “Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
We must guard our hearts, friend. Yes, you’ll make sacrifices for your family – but your own emotions, your own thoughts and desires, these need to be filled with the peace of Christ if you’re going to be happy or truly love your people well.
There are a few different areas where we are wise to guard our hearts:
- How are we managing our big emotions, like anger and impatience?
- What are we watching and looking at, that fills our minds and shapes our hearts?
- Who are the people we are listening to, that are influencing what we think and believe?
- What does our personal time with the Lord look like, reading the Bible and praying?
When our hearts are filled with the peace Christ, his grace and joy flow from us. Can you imagine anything more “successful” as a stay at home Christian mom?!
THIS WILL HELP: Grab my free 45-day Bible and Prayer Guide to get started with a daily habit that will guard your heart in Christ.
3. We must stay flexible with the chores and housework, and priorities relationships over tasks.
As a stay at home Christian mom, our definition of success won’t change, but the seasons of life will.
Clothing, feeding, and showing hospitality to our families (and others!) will change as our kids grow. Toddlers need different things than teens.
Sometimes, stay at home moms can struggle with feeling like the housework is taking over everything. We can told too tightly to the “perfect” chore chart or daily routine.
But that’s not really what success is all about!
Remember, it’s about those relationships with your precious people. Throughout the Bible, God is clear that caring for others, loving them, showing hospitality, feeding and helping others is good and holy work.
That’s what we do all day! So hold the chores and tasks of life loosely, and focus on the big picture. I find that this helps me feel more accomplished even if I only get part of my to-do list done each day.
4. Notice and spotlight gospel moments throughout your day.
Every single moment we have as a stay at home Christian mom is planned by God and is for his glory.
Yes, even those moments where the kids spill the juice or we’re picking up the living room for the 15th time today.
We can help our kids learn habits of gratitude, confession, evangelism, and other parts of spiritual life. How? Sometimes, through our family discipleship activities. Other times, through how we live our own lives day by day.
One of the most important things for stay at home moms to realize is that we are shaped by what we pay attention to.
Here are a few examples that happen in my home regularly… and sometimes get on my nerves, unless I look at it with gospel eyes!
- When my kids are fighting with each other, this is a chance to practice confession, apologizing, and offering forgiveness. Maybe even to read Colossians 3 out loud together!
- If I look around and feel overwhelmed by the mess and clutter, this is a chance to thank God for giving us so many blessings and check myself for idolatry of self-control or vanity.
- On those days when I feel exhausted and run down, I can remember Matthew 11:28-30 and turn to Jesus with a moment of prayer, a few tears, or turn on some worship music.
- When my kids are sassy or disobedient, I am reminded that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God, yet Jesus Christ came to save us even while we were still sinners. I can show kindness to my kids like God shows kindness to me.
Every moment is a teaching moment for our kids, but also for ourselves. When we have eyes that are trying to notice what God is doing, we will see glimmers of God’s goodness everywhere!
5. We must be interruptible, and do what God puts in front of us... even if it isn't our plan for the day.
Can I be honest?
This one has been tough for me.
I’m naturally a planner. In fact, right here on the blog I often recommend my all-time favorite Christian planner, The Hope Planner, because I’ve used it for years and it is so helpful for organizing my heart, my time, and my schedule!
But the reality for every stay at home mom is that things do not go according to plan every day. (In fact, this is a reality for every mom of any kind!)
Sometimes, we think as stay at home Christian moms that we can control our days. We can control the food, the routine, and get everything done. But of course, this is not reality!
And in reality, we will enjoy our kids so much more if we live out Proverbs 16:3 – “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.”
Kids will interrupt you. Broken dishwashers will interrupt you. Spilled milk, crayons on the wall, a teenage breakup – you cannot plan for when these things will happen, but you can expect that they will eventually happen.
When people or problems interrupt your day, we must see it as a calling from God to grow in showing the love of Christ to our family.
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